Sharks in the Water

Made a quick trip up 'north' to a charter school job fair.  It was underwhelmingly attended by both potential employers and employees.  I visited with every school that was represented.  They were mildly interested until I told them I am working on my masters in special education then their eyes got wide and their eyebrows went up and suddenly I was their best friend.  There was one company that is opening a new school about a 1/2 hour drive from me and I was encouraged to get in contact with the head of the district (she handed me her card). She said they would love to talk with me more.  I am praying this is going to be my new 'home'.

It is nice to have encouragement.  I am trying to NOT get too excited because I have been treated, in the past, as if I was going to be offered the job...then never heard from them again.  OR I got the 'thank you for your interest, however....' 

I spent the night at my parents'.  It was a quick but nice visit.  My mother always makes me feel guilty when I leave.  She seemed happy that I may have a job but sad that it wasn't closer to her.  I don't WANT to have to move. I am so sick of moving!!

When I got home tonight, I watched the last 2 episodes of "Justified".  I cried at the end of it.  Bittersweet.  I also cried because it is the end of something else that Troy and I had shared.  We both looked forward to it and would wait until we both could sit and watch it. 

I realize I am breathing easier without him.  He was verbally abusive to me...most of the time talked to me like I was someone he didn't even like.  Rail at me like I was a brainless twit, sometimes.  And was a powder keg waiting to explode.  Even given all of that, I was used to having to live with that.  I didn't like it, but I was used to it.  And I am still getting used to rearranging my life into something else.  I have my freedom.  For the most part, I can do what I want when I want, now.  If I didn't have these 3 dogs, I wouldn't have to clean the house quite so much either.  The oldest one is 6 years old, the youngest one is about 4.  So...I have a ways to go. 

I was sitting in my parents' house admiring the absence of pet hair.  I remember growing up and there was always a little dog and dog hairs that would stick to the bottom of your dark skirts and pants.  My mother vacuumed almost every day but the dog hair would still find you.  Now they have a very clean house.  My house would not smell quite so doggy if it wasn't for Jack.  I am constantly cleaning up after him. 

But...such is life.  And I hope mine is about to change for the better.

Again.