We knew it was going to be hell on wheels when Sr. had to go through withdrawal. We are all suffering. Sr. has been after TJ every day...yelling about the same things. TJ has been sick fighting off a wisdom tooth infection and a sinus infection. He just started antibiotics Tuesday. He has been trying.
Last night, Troy started in again and TJ just opened his mouth and let it fly. Troy has been pushing, trying to get the kid to explode so he could use it for an excuse. Things got physical and I had to step in but it wasn't easy. Troy provoked TJ, TJ provoked right back...and Troy threw the first punch...then hand on the kid's throat and up agains the wall. I would have punched him if I had gotten there fast enough. TJ punched him and I grabbed his arm.
In the end, after I got my daughter and son out of hte house, left her with a friend and drove around talking to him...while Troy took off then came back...everyone got an apology except me. I heard Troy packing his bags...making a big noise about it, wanting me to intervene. I just got on my exercise machine and ignored him. I am so freakin' sick of the drama. I am so freaking sick of having to intervene and calm everyone down...being the go between. I am freaking sick of being told I am not being supportive.
Then, on top of everything else, the girl that TJ has been friends with from last year, picked yesterday to get into it with her mother. When she does that, her bipolar nut of a mother calls my son and yells at him cuz she says her daughter's beligerence is his fault. So, true to form the bipolar witch called him last night. I had JUST been talking to him about how that association was not a good one and could only cause more drama and trouble and he just needed to back away. Well....I had been trying to let him handle it all but last night was NOT the night...so I grabbed the phone, told her she was not EVER to speak to my son again and I hung up on her. I messaged that girl and told her exactly how I felt about all of it and I did not approve of the relationship. She told me she understood and she had appreciated how nice I had always been to her and the advice I had given her and she didn't want to cause us any trouble. She said she would not be contacting TJ for a long time...things had to blow over and she didn't know when that would be.
I feel bad for the girl but TJ is in no position EVER to put up with the hassle and I surely don't need anymore.
Today I feel like I have gone 9 rounds with Sugar Ray. And I'm not talkin' 'bout Dancing With the Stars.
I am not sure I can handle 2 more years.
btw...Troy left today with his computer bag to see a client. No suitcases. Guess he didn't get the attention he wanted about it and decided not to leave.
I have prayed for miracles and seen them happen. I really don't have a clue as to where to turn and where to go at this point. I need another miracle.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Stench of It All
I had one of those weird memory connect strings going on in my brain today. I keep thinking about a conversation I had with my younger sister yesterday...and I was just kind of flabbergasted by what she said.
She has been complaining for the last year about the excessive BO and foot odor her oldest daughter has (she is 9 years old). She said that when Gabby gets home from school they have to soak her feet in tea water cuz it takes the smell out and wash the insoles of her shoes. I told her that she should start the girl on clinical strength underarm deodorant...preferably Degree. My Bethany had some pretty strong BO when she started puberty. Five years later it isn't so bad anymore but I still buy her the clinical strength Degree.
THEN my sister gets around to telling me that she has a hard time getting her girls to take baths...even though they only do it twice a week. This is where my mouth dropped open. AND she says that Gabby's hair is starting to look stringy. TWICE A WEEK??? I told her that my kids have ALWAYS had a bath every day. They have grown up with phobias about being unclean and having dirty looking hair. I have always believed that if one smells good then that alone will cause people to be nicer to you. Looking good is part of it...smelling good (especially if you smell like something that gives them comfort like cookies or peppermint) is a REALLY good thing. I wear lotion that smells like vanilla sugar cookies, candy canes, honeysuckle, berries. Who doesn't like food? LOL
I do not know where she got the idea that kids should only bathe twice a week. I know when we were growing up that was our mother's idea. But she got that from living out in the country with a well. They had to conserve their water. By the time I was in 4th grade I started washing my hair every day and bathing way more often. Then it turned into every day by the time I hit 5th grade. For all my mom's phobia about things staying clean you would have thought she would have realized that we needed more than a Wednesday and Saturday night bath. I told my lil sis that putting more deodorant on her daughter if she hadn't had a bath was like putting flowers in an onion bag. Why let the stink pile up? Am I the only one that thinks about this stuff? I mean REALLY. I told her that she was doing her daughters a disservice cuz she was deterring their ability to keep friends! sheesh. I can't believe I'm related to her! My son and daughter know the value of not being malodorous...my daughter has a string of body sprays and lotions she begged off of me from our favorite place: Bath and Body Works. My son wears axe products. They brush their teeth twice a day. They wear clean clothes (two changings a day...not usually necessary but...).
The niece's stinky shoes reminded me of my first fiance'. I had bought him a pair of suede boots one Christmas. He loved them and wore them all the time. The problem was...they didn't exactly 'breathe'. They got so bad that he had to start leaving them outside the house in a covered porch. I swear they smelled like an opossum had crawled in there and died.
He had a niece, Pammy. Pammy did not like me. She was one of those bully type mean girls. She thought I was too prissy and goody-goody. I think it was the next Christmas he took her shopping with him to 'help' pick out some clothes to give me for Christmas. I opened up this one box and it was all I could do not to scream in horror. She got me all right. Let's just say the outfit looked like something Laura Ingals would wear out there in the prairie. It was a deep jewel color with a sort of cocoa brown accent color. Long CORDUROY skirt with about 3 tiers of ruffles, a ruffle on the waist. And it had a matching vest. I just pasted a smile on my face cuz he looked so proud of that outfit. When he told me that Pammy had helped him pick it out then it made sense. She asked me later, with a wicked smile on her face, how I liked the outfit. I told her it was the most unusual outfit I had ever seen and couldn't wait to wear it. I don't think I've ever seen a smile hit the floor quite so fast. I ended up removing one of the ruffles in order fot it to not cover my feet. I bought some matching brown boots and found a shirt to match and ended up wearing it quite often that winter. I was doing my student teaching so it came in handy. Pammy was not happy. LOL
So...there's my thread...stinky niece...stinky boots...stinky almost niece. LOL
She has been complaining for the last year about the excessive BO and foot odor her oldest daughter has (she is 9 years old). She said that when Gabby gets home from school they have to soak her feet in tea water cuz it takes the smell out and wash the insoles of her shoes. I told her that she should start the girl on clinical strength underarm deodorant...preferably Degree. My Bethany had some pretty strong BO when she started puberty. Five years later it isn't so bad anymore but I still buy her the clinical strength Degree.
THEN my sister gets around to telling me that she has a hard time getting her girls to take baths...even though they only do it twice a week. This is where my mouth dropped open. AND she says that Gabby's hair is starting to look stringy. TWICE A WEEK??? I told her that my kids have ALWAYS had a bath every day. They have grown up with phobias about being unclean and having dirty looking hair. I have always believed that if one smells good then that alone will cause people to be nicer to you. Looking good is part of it...smelling good (especially if you smell like something that gives them comfort like cookies or peppermint) is a REALLY good thing. I wear lotion that smells like vanilla sugar cookies, candy canes, honeysuckle, berries. Who doesn't like food? LOL
I do not know where she got the idea that kids should only bathe twice a week. I know when we were growing up that was our mother's idea. But she got that from living out in the country with a well. They had to conserve their water. By the time I was in 4th grade I started washing my hair every day and bathing way more often. Then it turned into every day by the time I hit 5th grade. For all my mom's phobia about things staying clean you would have thought she would have realized that we needed more than a Wednesday and Saturday night bath. I told my lil sis that putting more deodorant on her daughter if she hadn't had a bath was like putting flowers in an onion bag. Why let the stink pile up? Am I the only one that thinks about this stuff? I mean REALLY. I told her that she was doing her daughters a disservice cuz she was deterring their ability to keep friends! sheesh. I can't believe I'm related to her! My son and daughter know the value of not being malodorous...my daughter has a string of body sprays and lotions she begged off of me from our favorite place: Bath and Body Works. My son wears axe products. They brush their teeth twice a day. They wear clean clothes (two changings a day...not usually necessary but...).
The niece's stinky shoes reminded me of my first fiance'. I had bought him a pair of suede boots one Christmas. He loved them and wore them all the time. The problem was...they didn't exactly 'breathe'. They got so bad that he had to start leaving them outside the house in a covered porch. I swear they smelled like an opossum had crawled in there and died.
He had a niece, Pammy. Pammy did not like me. She was one of those bully type mean girls. She thought I was too prissy and goody-goody. I think it was the next Christmas he took her shopping with him to 'help' pick out some clothes to give me for Christmas. I opened up this one box and it was all I could do not to scream in horror. She got me all right. Let's just say the outfit looked like something Laura Ingals would wear out there in the prairie. It was a deep jewel color with a sort of cocoa brown accent color. Long CORDUROY skirt with about 3 tiers of ruffles, a ruffle on the waist. And it had a matching vest. I just pasted a smile on my face cuz he looked so proud of that outfit. When he told me that Pammy had helped him pick it out then it made sense. She asked me later, with a wicked smile on her face, how I liked the outfit. I told her it was the most unusual outfit I had ever seen and couldn't wait to wear it. I don't think I've ever seen a smile hit the floor quite so fast. I ended up removing one of the ruffles in order fot it to not cover my feet. I bought some matching brown boots and found a shirt to match and ended up wearing it quite often that winter. I was doing my student teaching so it came in handy. Pammy was not happy. LOL
So...there's my thread...stinky niece...stinky boots...stinky almost niece. LOL
Monday, March 28, 2011
All's Swell...Sort of...
Okay...I am starting to settle down. I had my 'over-the-top-give-in-to-stress' thing tonight. I grabbed a bag out of the cupboard that my daughter had wanted from Trader Joe's...a bag of yogurt covered pretzels. Those things pack A LOT of calories! I ate over 200 calories worth. But, I got even with myself...I made myself do 60 minutes of cardio.
I filled out some job app.'s today and went to get my fingerprints taken care of for the state ed. board. My papers for my license (and the big check) went into the mail late Friday night. Next Tuesday I will start calling them and checking on my license. For now I am thinking that working in one of the many daycare centers over the summer with the school aged kids will be good..if I can get in. There were some tutor jobs advertised that pay REALLY well but I am not so sure there will be a whole lot of work in that area over the summer. I could be wrong.
Turns out my brother has a weird infection. It started out as a bad cold..then infected sinuses but he let it go so long the infection spread down into his chest cavity. He is on 5 different drugs for it now. As for the skinny little blonde...my mother needs to get her eyes checked. LOL
I recorded a show and watched another show today that I don't normally watch. The recorded show was about video game addiction. The show I watched was 'Dancing With the Stars'. ..I had that on while I was exercising. I figured if I was going to punish myself I would REALLY punish myself. Sorry...I'm not a fan BUT I was really impressed with 'the karate kid' guy...Ralph. Now THAT guy can cut a rug! If I tried to do even one minute of that dance I would have collapsed.
As for the Dr. Phil show...I can see some of what he was talking about happening with my son but not totally. TJ gets out and goes to class and he does his studying and class work. He isn't addicted to a video game, exactly. What he is addicted to is his friends online. Since we moved around so much and then he ultimately ended up doing his last 6 years of school online, he doesn't have but a couple of friends in the area. Most of his friends are guys his age online. They all have given each other nicknames (Brolly, Doom, Negative, etc.) and they have like a little club. They meet online to actually watch wrestling matches together and comment then they play games online together and joke around. I am looking forward to the day when he is done with college and hope he gets a job out there in the world with people he can work with face to face.
This week is Bethany's spring break. And just like when TJ was on Spring Break, she has the flu. Kind of a suckie spring break but at least it isn't interfering with school. LOL
I filled out some job app.'s today and went to get my fingerprints taken care of for the state ed. board. My papers for my license (and the big check) went into the mail late Friday night. Next Tuesday I will start calling them and checking on my license. For now I am thinking that working in one of the many daycare centers over the summer with the school aged kids will be good..if I can get in. There were some tutor jobs advertised that pay REALLY well but I am not so sure there will be a whole lot of work in that area over the summer. I could be wrong.
Turns out my brother has a weird infection. It started out as a bad cold..then infected sinuses but he let it go so long the infection spread down into his chest cavity. He is on 5 different drugs for it now. As for the skinny little blonde...my mother needs to get her eyes checked. LOL
I recorded a show and watched another show today that I don't normally watch. The recorded show was about video game addiction. The show I watched was 'Dancing With the Stars'. ..I had that on while I was exercising. I figured if I was going to punish myself I would REALLY punish myself. Sorry...I'm not a fan BUT I was really impressed with 'the karate kid' guy...Ralph. Now THAT guy can cut a rug! If I tried to do even one minute of that dance I would have collapsed.
As for the Dr. Phil show...I can see some of what he was talking about happening with my son but not totally. TJ gets out and goes to class and he does his studying and class work. He isn't addicted to a video game, exactly. What he is addicted to is his friends online. Since we moved around so much and then he ultimately ended up doing his last 6 years of school online, he doesn't have but a couple of friends in the area. Most of his friends are guys his age online. They all have given each other nicknames (Brolly, Doom, Negative, etc.) and they have like a little club. They meet online to actually watch wrestling matches together and comment then they play games online together and joke around. I am looking forward to the day when he is done with college and hope he gets a job out there in the world with people he can work with face to face.
This week is Bethany's spring break. And just like when TJ was on Spring Break, she has the flu. Kind of a suckie spring break but at least it isn't interfering with school. LOL
Friday, March 25, 2011
Making a List and Checking It...
You know I'm in a bad way when I get all upset and cry over American Idol. Yes, Casey is my favorite and it was shocking to me that as many times as I voted for him, he got eliminated. And when the judges saved him, as Casey turned white and almost fainted, the waterworks started and my daughter handed me the tissue box. At least she doesn't laugh at me!
I have let everything around me just pile up and weigh on me.
My son has an infected wisdom tooth that really needs to come out. The surgeon is so busy I had to beg for an appt. that wasn't weeks and weeks down the road. Even then, it was set up for 2 weeks later. I stress over his pain and I'm stressed over the bill that will face us when it is extracted...and I stress over the meds he will have to deal with afterwards becuz of his anxiety meds.
My daughter is all uptight over a female thing and I had to make an appt. for her at the doctor's. Her first gyno appt. I am sure it is nothing but the thing I think is nothing might be the thing that turns out to be something.
My mother just went through a breast cancer scare. Thank the lord above it was just that...a scare. But her doctor was even expecting it to be breast cancer.
My brother is having problems with his lungs. He is now having to go through tests...scans. Hopefully it will turn out to be pneumonia or some pleuresy and not emphezima. He hangs out with smoker friends way too much. My mother's shock was when she met him at the doctor office to give him some needed med records for his new doctor, out of his car stepped a skinny little blonde that she had never seen before. Where's the girl he's been dating for the last 3 years?
I FINALLY found out that I filled out and sent in the wrong paperwork to renew my teaching license. That was $160 as it was. The check was never cashed. Got ahold of someone today that could explain! Turns out I filled out the wrong form. Since I am not getting a NEW license, but converting teacher CERTIFICATION into teacher LICENSURE, it is a different form and $200. PLUS I have to go get a new set of fingerprints done...more money.
THEN, the trip to Wichita for hubby's court date for his DUI from last year is coming up. He got papers from the lawyer today. In order to keep it off his records, they are going to put him through the wringer. No jail time but that would be SO much quicker and easier than what they want...and a whole heck of a lot cheaper. By the time it is all said and done, it will all cost us about $2000. The 'good news' is we have 3 months to pay it.
At the time of this posting I am applying for summer work. As soon as the teaching license comes through I will be applying for online teaching jobs, also.
God...I know You are up there. and I know You take care of things. I am sorry I allow myself to get into such a pile of anxiety over things. You will do what is best and You will help us through this.
Oh...and one more thing...while You are at it...could You do something about the drug dealer living next door to my youngest sister and her family?
I have let everything around me just pile up and weigh on me.
My son has an infected wisdom tooth that really needs to come out. The surgeon is so busy I had to beg for an appt. that wasn't weeks and weeks down the road. Even then, it was set up for 2 weeks later. I stress over his pain and I'm stressed over the bill that will face us when it is extracted...and I stress over the meds he will have to deal with afterwards becuz of his anxiety meds.
My daughter is all uptight over a female thing and I had to make an appt. for her at the doctor's. Her first gyno appt. I am sure it is nothing but the thing I think is nothing might be the thing that turns out to be something.
My mother just went through a breast cancer scare. Thank the lord above it was just that...a scare. But her doctor was even expecting it to be breast cancer.
My brother is having problems with his lungs. He is now having to go through tests...scans. Hopefully it will turn out to be pneumonia or some pleuresy and not emphezima. He hangs out with smoker friends way too much. My mother's shock was when she met him at the doctor office to give him some needed med records for his new doctor, out of his car stepped a skinny little blonde that she had never seen before. Where's the girl he's been dating for the last 3 years?
I FINALLY found out that I filled out and sent in the wrong paperwork to renew my teaching license. That was $160 as it was. The check was never cashed. Got ahold of someone today that could explain! Turns out I filled out the wrong form. Since I am not getting a NEW license, but converting teacher CERTIFICATION into teacher LICENSURE, it is a different form and $200. PLUS I have to go get a new set of fingerprints done...more money.
THEN, the trip to Wichita for hubby's court date for his DUI from last year is coming up. He got papers from the lawyer today. In order to keep it off his records, they are going to put him through the wringer. No jail time but that would be SO much quicker and easier than what they want...and a whole heck of a lot cheaper. By the time it is all said and done, it will all cost us about $2000. The 'good news' is we have 3 months to pay it.
At the time of this posting I am applying for summer work. As soon as the teaching license comes through I will be applying for online teaching jobs, also.
God...I know You are up there. and I know You take care of things. I am sorry I allow myself to get into such a pile of anxiety over things. You will do what is best and You will help us through this.
Oh...and one more thing...while You are at it...could You do something about the drug dealer living next door to my youngest sister and her family?
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Moody Blues
Let me put this in print...go ahead and admit it...I'm moody. Guess I always have been but I have tried to keep it under control most of my life. My father is a moody guy and I didn't like his moods. He has these dark moods where he just closes off and won't even acknowledge your presence. I am not THAT moody. I think the worst my bad moods get is I just don't say much and I don't do my usual 'cheery' act that keeps everyone else in a good mood. Lord knows they don't seem to be able to be sunny on their own around here. They have to have someone else put them in a good mood.
But now that I am having to put up with the whole ugly hormonal crap of an older woman (oldER...not OLD) I am using it to my advantage. I will admit, though, that I really do not like being in a BAD mood. It sucks. I don't like depression or orneriness. I have just been too tired to want to fight it off. So, I just warn everyone that I am hormonal and feeling cranky and short on patience. Even at that, they are who they are and they are lucky that when I feel myself ready to blow my top, I walk off and away.
Well...almost always. The hubby doesn't seem to have the sense God gave a dog sometimes. He will stand there and keep picking at something...instead of just recognizing the situation for what it is and not keep yapping until he has the last word or until he feels he has 'won'. In our marriage, hardly any discussion we have had has ever meant enough for me to argue with him about it. I let him have the last word...then I do what I want anyway. :D There is the chance that my way will work out as I had hoped and he will just never admit that it did...or take the credit for it being HIS idea (and believe it or not, I let him cuz...life is short) OR it fails and he will hold it over my head until the day the dirt is piled on my coffin.
But lately, I have taken to just losing my cool and saying something not so very nice..."You are as bad as the kids! Will you just shut up already!" OR the other day, he interrupted a talk I was having with our son for the bazillionth time and I interrupted him right back with, "If I can just finish this PLEASE...I WAS discussing that very thing with him." stomping...then later he is mad at me cuz he interrupted me and I just yell him out the door.
I really don't like being ornery or raising my voice. I hate conflict. I hate moodiness. I do wonder sometimes, though, if I just acted upon what I was feeling...where would I end up?
I did not go to my oldest niece's la crosse game last Saturday morning. It was damp and cool outside and my sinuses were killing me. I called my sister later to apologize and she said in a not so nice way, "Never mind...I didn't expect that you'd come. It was warm there...the sun was shining." I heard her middle daughter in the background say, "I was freezing!" She said to her, "You're always cold. Anyway, WE had a good time without you." This is the first time I have ever NOT done something I told her I was going to. I have been there to help out while her hubby was out of work, I have helped her whenever she has asked me to pitch in. On the other hand, there is one thing I know about her...if she says she is going to be there, she will call and cancel at the last minute. Always. So, yeah...I am at a point where my good nature is feeling rather dismal.
Perhaps it is just cabin fever and I need some good weather. Life isn't really all that bad. I'm just moody.
But now that I am having to put up with the whole ugly hormonal crap of an older woman (oldER...not OLD) I am using it to my advantage. I will admit, though, that I really do not like being in a BAD mood. It sucks. I don't like depression or orneriness. I have just been too tired to want to fight it off. So, I just warn everyone that I am hormonal and feeling cranky and short on patience. Even at that, they are who they are and they are lucky that when I feel myself ready to blow my top, I walk off and away.
Well...almost always. The hubby doesn't seem to have the sense God gave a dog sometimes. He will stand there and keep picking at something...instead of just recognizing the situation for what it is and not keep yapping until he has the last word or until he feels he has 'won'. In our marriage, hardly any discussion we have had has ever meant enough for me to argue with him about it. I let him have the last word...then I do what I want anyway. :D There is the chance that my way will work out as I had hoped and he will just never admit that it did...or take the credit for it being HIS idea (and believe it or not, I let him cuz...life is short) OR it fails and he will hold it over my head until the day the dirt is piled on my coffin.
But lately, I have taken to just losing my cool and saying something not so very nice..."You are as bad as the kids! Will you just shut up already!" OR the other day, he interrupted a talk I was having with our son for the bazillionth time and I interrupted him right back with, "If I can just finish this PLEASE...I WAS discussing that very thing with him." stomping...then later he is mad at me cuz he interrupted me and I just yell him out the door.
I really don't like being ornery or raising my voice. I hate conflict. I hate moodiness. I do wonder sometimes, though, if I just acted upon what I was feeling...where would I end up?
I did not go to my oldest niece's la crosse game last Saturday morning. It was damp and cool outside and my sinuses were killing me. I called my sister later to apologize and she said in a not so nice way, "Never mind...I didn't expect that you'd come. It was warm there...the sun was shining." I heard her middle daughter in the background say, "I was freezing!" She said to her, "You're always cold. Anyway, WE had a good time without you." This is the first time I have ever NOT done something I told her I was going to. I have been there to help out while her hubby was out of work, I have helped her whenever she has asked me to pitch in. On the other hand, there is one thing I know about her...if she says she is going to be there, she will call and cancel at the last minute. Always. So, yeah...I am at a point where my good nature is feeling rather dismal.
Perhaps it is just cabin fever and I need some good weather. Life isn't really all that bad. I'm just moody.
Friday, March 18, 2011
My Turn
As my friend Denise would say, I need a sweet escape. I have never really figured out what she considers a 'sweet escape'. She is a full time nurse (in Virginia) and has 6 kids....first 3 were girls, last 3 are boys. The oldest girl just got married about 2 years ago. Her husband works in insurance and has a home office. I see LOTS of pictures on her FB of her and the women she works with out celebrating something all the time...she has a drink in her hand. I know she goes to lots of rock concerts with them. When does she find time to be a mom and wife? None of my business. When we were in HS she was the sensible, nose to the grindstone girl. Well, until Sr. year. But I won't get into that.
My sweet escape would involve a nice hotel room with a big fluffy bed, room service, and being able to use the exercise room BY MYSELF. oh...did I mention I would be in that hotel room BY MYSELF?
At the risk of making anyone uncomfortable I think I am entering the 'ornery' part of menopause. I thought maybe the night sweats was going to be the bad part and that was it. And when they stopped I was thrilled. BUT it seems that was replaced by me being demon possessed. It is getting harder and harder NOT to let the demon loose on my family. They aren't acting any differently than they ever have....but now it is irritating almost beyond my control.
1) If you bring it home, take care of it. Do NOT leave it lying on the floor, the counter, etc for me to finally throw away, put away, etc. I hate to break this to you people but there is no magic 'Take Care of It' fairy. It has been me all along.
2) I KNOW that you have your own shoes, MP3 player, shirts, make up, batteries, gum, data stick, etc. If you know it is MINE...DO NOT FREAKIN' TOUCH IT cuz...guess what? I DO mind!
3) You have an alarm clock. It works. And no, I am not the alarm clock.
4) Last I knew the dishwasher opened if you just give it a little tug. Then, you slide out the upper or lower basket and put you RINSED OFF dirty dish in it. If you want me to, I will set up a web cam and point it at the pile of dishes you left on the counter ON TOP OF THE DISHWASHER and you will never see the dishes just magically sink through the counter into the dishwasher on their own.
5) To my kids: it is YOUR bathroom, I don't use it...I don't WANT to use it. There are wipes and cleaners, and sponges to use to keep it clean...I have given you demonstrations in leu of a PPT presentation on what they are, how they work, and where they are. These things do not run on batteries or have an automatic timer. Unless you want to pay me in real American dollars, you had best be cleaning that bathroom!
6)To my husband: Why is it when I make the dinner, I set the table, I clear the table, I take care of the left overs and the pots and pans but when YOU make the dinner, I set the table, I clear the table, I take care of the leftovers and the pot and pans? Something seems a little unbalanced. And right now...I'm thinking it's me.
My sweet escape would involve a nice hotel room with a big fluffy bed, room service, and being able to use the exercise room BY MYSELF. oh...did I mention I would be in that hotel room BY MYSELF?
At the risk of making anyone uncomfortable I think I am entering the 'ornery' part of menopause. I thought maybe the night sweats was going to be the bad part and that was it. And when they stopped I was thrilled. BUT it seems that was replaced by me being demon possessed. It is getting harder and harder NOT to let the demon loose on my family. They aren't acting any differently than they ever have....but now it is irritating almost beyond my control.
1) If you bring it home, take care of it. Do NOT leave it lying on the floor, the counter, etc for me to finally throw away, put away, etc. I hate to break this to you people but there is no magic 'Take Care of It' fairy. It has been me all along.
2) I KNOW that you have your own shoes, MP3 player, shirts, make up, batteries, gum, data stick, etc. If you know it is MINE...DO NOT FREAKIN' TOUCH IT cuz...guess what? I DO mind!
3) You have an alarm clock. It works. And no, I am not the alarm clock.
4) Last I knew the dishwasher opened if you just give it a little tug. Then, you slide out the upper or lower basket and put you RINSED OFF dirty dish in it. If you want me to, I will set up a web cam and point it at the pile of dishes you left on the counter ON TOP OF THE DISHWASHER and you will never see the dishes just magically sink through the counter into the dishwasher on their own.
5) To my kids: it is YOUR bathroom, I don't use it...I don't WANT to use it. There are wipes and cleaners, and sponges to use to keep it clean...I have given you demonstrations in leu of a PPT presentation on what they are, how they work, and where they are. These things do not run on batteries or have an automatic timer. Unless you want to pay me in real American dollars, you had best be cleaning that bathroom!
6)To my husband: Why is it when I make the dinner, I set the table, I clear the table, I take care of the left overs and the pots and pans but when YOU make the dinner, I set the table, I clear the table, I take care of the leftovers and the pot and pans? Something seems a little unbalanced. And right now...I'm thinking it's me.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Temporary Routine
I would chalk it up to old age. Would. But it isn't just me.
My body gets used to a certain routine. When I deviate from the routine for more than one day or in a significant way, it makes me pay. For instance, Daylight savings time (springing forward) wasn't bad enough but there was the added bonus of the frenzy of the chili cook-off at our church. That might have been fine but for two mornings I have had to rise (but not quite shine) an hour early. My daughter had Ohio Graduation Tests to take and since she is going to an online school that means there is a center that I have to take her to in order for her to take the tests. I took her friend Amy too, since they are both in the same online school this year. They have one test each day...Ohio guidelines. It takes about 45 minutes to get to this little obscure art center in an odd sort of neighborhood. Thankfully Amy's mom is taking them the next two mornings.
As I drove down Routh 675, I noticed these wires that are strung across this one part of the freeway...becuz both days I have seen them lined with dozens of little black birds. Is it a bunch of old retired blackbirds and this is their equivalent to gathering for artery clogging breakfast at McDonald's every morning?
My Uncle Gerald did it every morning for years...met his old buddies at McDonald's for breakfast every morning. I am of the belief that had he not gone there and ate the McD's breakfast every morning he would still be with us today. He died last year at the age of 93. You might think "Wow" but his dad, my grandfather, lived to the ripe old age of 100. I think he might have hung in there longer than 100 but he had gotten sick and was put in a nursing home to recuperate. The day he died my Aunt Lois (Aunt Crazy) was visiting him along with my Uncle Gerald. She was standing over Grandpa's bed yammering on and on and on (like she always has) and Grandpa just stopped breathing. I think she sucked up all the oxygen and suffocated him to death.
So...from getting up earlier than I can stand to birds on a wired to old folks and McD breakfast to my grandfather suffocating to death. I wonder if that qualifies me as a Gilmore Girl?
I find that at times I just want to scream. Why? Because I have so many ppl coming at me with some kind of a whine. I wouldn't mind the whine (because lord knows I've done it plenty myself) but what I HATE is when I give them some ideas of ways to help the situation maybe get better or be at least tolerable, then I get hit with a bazillion excuses. over and over. What they REALLY want is someone else to physically DO whatever for them OR wave a magic wand and TADA...all better. Sorry, I broke my magic wand decades ago.
My oldest sister seems to be more comfortable not being able to make ends meet. We have ALL tried to help her. My youngest sister complains and whines about EVERYTHING and when I try to extend a helping hand or helping advice my hand gets slapped away and she shoots down all of my advice with stupid reasons why it won't work. Nothing will work if you don't put a bit of effort into it.
And there is this person that went to my HS who has clutched onto me. She whines cuz she is overweight...gives me lots of reasons why. Then whines that she doesn't want to exercise or change her diet cuz she is Italian and loves to eat. Those were HER words, not mine. Don't we ALL love to eat? I'm not Italian...that I know of. But if I could eat fruit pie all the time, don't you think I would? What she wants is attention. She wants a magic pill.
Just like my SIL. My MIL told her I was losing weight. Even tho dear old SIL hasn't spoken to me for a year and a half, she didn't mind TEXTING me to ask what pill I'm taking. :? I think she was disappointed when I told her I wasn't taking anything. Just watching what I actually ate, how much, and exercised. wow...that's work.
so...getting up too early...birds on a wire...old folks at McD...suffocation...whining...losing weight.
I think I've covered enough bases for now.
My body gets used to a certain routine. When I deviate from the routine for more than one day or in a significant way, it makes me pay. For instance, Daylight savings time (springing forward) wasn't bad enough but there was the added bonus of the frenzy of the chili cook-off at our church. That might have been fine but for two mornings I have had to rise (but not quite shine) an hour early. My daughter had Ohio Graduation Tests to take and since she is going to an online school that means there is a center that I have to take her to in order for her to take the tests. I took her friend Amy too, since they are both in the same online school this year. They have one test each day...Ohio guidelines. It takes about 45 minutes to get to this little obscure art center in an odd sort of neighborhood. Thankfully Amy's mom is taking them the next two mornings.
As I drove down Routh 675, I noticed these wires that are strung across this one part of the freeway...becuz both days I have seen them lined with dozens of little black birds. Is it a bunch of old retired blackbirds and this is their equivalent to gathering for artery clogging breakfast at McDonald's every morning?
My Uncle Gerald did it every morning for years...met his old buddies at McDonald's for breakfast every morning. I am of the belief that had he not gone there and ate the McD's breakfast every morning he would still be with us today. He died last year at the age of 93. You might think "Wow" but his dad, my grandfather, lived to the ripe old age of 100. I think he might have hung in there longer than 100 but he had gotten sick and was put in a nursing home to recuperate. The day he died my Aunt Lois (Aunt Crazy) was visiting him along with my Uncle Gerald. She was standing over Grandpa's bed yammering on and on and on (like she always has) and Grandpa just stopped breathing. I think she sucked up all the oxygen and suffocated him to death.
So...from getting up earlier than I can stand to birds on a wired to old folks and McD breakfast to my grandfather suffocating to death. I wonder if that qualifies me as a Gilmore Girl?
I find that at times I just want to scream. Why? Because I have so many ppl coming at me with some kind of a whine. I wouldn't mind the whine (because lord knows I've done it plenty myself) but what I HATE is when I give them some ideas of ways to help the situation maybe get better or be at least tolerable, then I get hit with a bazillion excuses. over and over. What they REALLY want is someone else to physically DO whatever for them OR wave a magic wand and TADA...all better. Sorry, I broke my magic wand decades ago.
My oldest sister seems to be more comfortable not being able to make ends meet. We have ALL tried to help her. My youngest sister complains and whines about EVERYTHING and when I try to extend a helping hand or helping advice my hand gets slapped away and she shoots down all of my advice with stupid reasons why it won't work. Nothing will work if you don't put a bit of effort into it.
And there is this person that went to my HS who has clutched onto me. She whines cuz she is overweight...gives me lots of reasons why. Then whines that she doesn't want to exercise or change her diet cuz she is Italian and loves to eat. Those were HER words, not mine. Don't we ALL love to eat? I'm not Italian...that I know of. But if I could eat fruit pie all the time, don't you think I would? What she wants is attention. She wants a magic pill.
Just like my SIL. My MIL told her I was losing weight. Even tho dear old SIL hasn't spoken to me for a year and a half, she didn't mind TEXTING me to ask what pill I'm taking. :? I think she was disappointed when I told her I wasn't taking anything. Just watching what I actually ate, how much, and exercised. wow...that's work.
so...getting up too early...birds on a wire...old folks at McD...suffocation...whining...losing weight.
I think I've covered enough bases for now.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Minor Aggravations
So…yesterday was spent trying to calm my son and get him back on track. I sometimes like to ‘pretend’ that his GAD is under control. The fact of the matter is, he is trying to control it but it is a ‘bad case’ scenario. Not a WORST case…but a bad case. He tried going off the meds and doing it solo. It was kinda good cuz he got all that old medication out of his system and he was learning some coping mechanisms. He also found that his ticks got a lot worse becuz he was trying to handle his anxieties solo. Back to the doctor and onto some ‘take as needed’ meds. Helped, but not enough. Then the doctor talked him into starting with a milder med. It seems to work for the most part BUT he is now finding in his most stressful times he may need to add on those ‘take as needed’ pills. He has become so much more responsible in handling his meds himself. This is a huge step forward for him. It shows some maturity and sense of responsibility.
He is trying to handle the whole college thing on his own but I found him using his xbox and his online friends as an avoidance mechanism…pretty much like the guy that has problems at home or work and goes drinking at the bar to forget about it. I pointed out to Jr. what he was doing and made the analogy…and also pointed out that not only did it NOT make the problem go away but it made it worse because instead of taking the time to deal with it, it got worse because he had wasted MORE time. He needed to learn to jump into it right away. He also needed to learn to look ahead and get things out of the way so there was no avoidance issues. He had to utilize the help he had offered to him and any other helpful ‘tools’. I told him to not think of getting help from ‘mommy’ but think of me as a tutor. College is a different world and it can be a stressful world. He has me here to help him learn how to navigate it and cope…and learn his own way of coping so that he can use those coping mechanisms out there in the world.
I think I got through to him with it because he unplugged his xbox and opened up his computer and did a late night work session to get his composition assignment finished and turned in. Then, today, I sat with him and went over his math class study guide to make sure he understood how it was all done so he could go and take his final without freaking out.
I had to do that with Ms. Divine a bit ago. She was avoiding her P.E. assignments and got backed up on about 3 weeks worth of Spanish! Her instructors are very nice and understanding…thank GOD! I sat with her and broke it up into pieces, and talked her through what she was anxious about…what her assignments were really like and she could verbalize and see that she had blown it way out of proportion in her mind. She got caught up in about 10 days and we did a disturbing celebration dance! LOL Now she is staying on task and is so much more calm.
As for Sr…he got caught for a DUI in Kansas when he had to go out there as a favor to another guy in the company who didn’t know what he was doing and needed to make the customer happy. He had a friend out there in that town and he had went out to dinner with the client then met up with his friend to shoot the breeze and pool. The thing is, Sr. usually does any wine drinking or otherwise in the hotel bar. This time, he was out to dinner at another restaurant and had 2 glasses of wine then drank some beers with his friend…forgetting about the previous wine imbibement (I think I just made up that word!). He is not a guy to drink and drive. He no sooner left the bar than he got pulled over…breathalyzer tested and thrown in the pokie. This was way last May. His friend posted his bail and got him hooked up with a lawyer. The state of Kansas pulled his driving privileges except for work related travel…he had to attend a counseling session to be evaluated for risk of repeat offense (which the counselor told the court she saw no evidence of him needing rehab or having a repeat ‘performance’). The lawyer kept dragging out the court date hoping it would eventually be dropped or just a fine levied. We just got word today that a date has been set for April 7…in Wichita. He HAS to appear. So, I am going out there with him…and I’m praying. It is the unknown that bothers me.
As for me…God gives me strength and understanding. There are those moments when I just don’t feel like I want to deal with any of it anymore and just want to pack and run. But I don’t know where I would run to and I can’t do that to any of them. So, I pray…and I exercise. I need the rush of endorphines! My ‘drug’ of choice. My ‘drug’ used to be food…
He is trying to handle the whole college thing on his own but I found him using his xbox and his online friends as an avoidance mechanism…pretty much like the guy that has problems at home or work and goes drinking at the bar to forget about it. I pointed out to Jr. what he was doing and made the analogy…and also pointed out that not only did it NOT make the problem go away but it made it worse because instead of taking the time to deal with it, it got worse because he had wasted MORE time. He needed to learn to jump into it right away. He also needed to learn to look ahead and get things out of the way so there was no avoidance issues. He had to utilize the help he had offered to him and any other helpful ‘tools’. I told him to not think of getting help from ‘mommy’ but think of me as a tutor. College is a different world and it can be a stressful world. He has me here to help him learn how to navigate it and cope…and learn his own way of coping so that he can use those coping mechanisms out there in the world.
I think I got through to him with it because he unplugged his xbox and opened up his computer and did a late night work session to get his composition assignment finished and turned in. Then, today, I sat with him and went over his math class study guide to make sure he understood how it was all done so he could go and take his final without freaking out.
I had to do that with Ms. Divine a bit ago. She was avoiding her P.E. assignments and got backed up on about 3 weeks worth of Spanish! Her instructors are very nice and understanding…thank GOD! I sat with her and broke it up into pieces, and talked her through what she was anxious about…what her assignments were really like and she could verbalize and see that she had blown it way out of proportion in her mind. She got caught up in about 10 days and we did a disturbing celebration dance! LOL Now she is staying on task and is so much more calm.
As for Sr…he got caught for a DUI in Kansas when he had to go out there as a favor to another guy in the company who didn’t know what he was doing and needed to make the customer happy. He had a friend out there in that town and he had went out to dinner with the client then met up with his friend to shoot the breeze and pool. The thing is, Sr. usually does any wine drinking or otherwise in the hotel bar. This time, he was out to dinner at another restaurant and had 2 glasses of wine then drank some beers with his friend…forgetting about the previous wine imbibement (I think I just made up that word!). He is not a guy to drink and drive. He no sooner left the bar than he got pulled over…breathalyzer tested and thrown in the pokie. This was way last May. His friend posted his bail and got him hooked up with a lawyer. The state of Kansas pulled his driving privileges except for work related travel…he had to attend a counseling session to be evaluated for risk of repeat offense (which the counselor told the court she saw no evidence of him needing rehab or having a repeat ‘performance’). The lawyer kept dragging out the court date hoping it would eventually be dropped or just a fine levied. We just got word today that a date has been set for April 7…in Wichita. He HAS to appear. So, I am going out there with him…and I’m praying. It is the unknown that bothers me.
As for me…God gives me strength and understanding. There are those moments when I just don’t feel like I want to deal with any of it anymore and just want to pack and run. But I don’t know where I would run to and I can’t do that to any of them. So, I pray…and I exercise. I need the rush of endorphines! My ‘drug’ of choice. My ‘drug’ used to be food…
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