In my last post I had told you about a book I was reading by Dr. Charles Stanley entitled "How to Handle Adversity". I am still reading it. It is not a very thick book but I peck away at it. I do a lot of my reading at night before I turn in. Most times I don't get very far in my reading because I am just too tired.
However, I really LOVE this book. It has enlightened me a lot about things. I am at a chapter where it talks about the adversities we go through because we have some character issues that God really needs us to change. I do believe that I have gone through a lot of adversity just because of that alone. I probably wouldn't have had so many rough spots if I didn't have a tendency to be so stubborn or 'snap back' to old bad habits.
There is one thing in this book, though, that I am glad to see. It backs up my way of thinking about some of my actions. There are places in my life that I stick and hang with a situation that is not necessarily a kind place for me to be in and a lot of ppl would have just thrown in the towel and walked away because they wanted something better for themselves. However, I always felt that I was there because God had a purpose for me and He knew I would do that job. I have been asked so many times by so many people, "Why are you still there?" My answer? "Because I need to be...I'm supposed to be..." I have been told lots of times how to change my situation for ME. I appreciate the concern but I have always felt God's guiding hand. And because I have stayed in the situation, other people are better for it.
Life is not easy. Doing a job is hard work. I asked God for a purpose and He took me up on it. He used my stubborness and my curiosity for understanding...my ability to put myself in someone else's shoes and see things from their journey and perspective...to give me a purpose.
Be careful of what you ask.
My mother, even though she is a Christian and has been for many decades, doesn't even understand. She looks at what I'm doing from a mom's perspective. She thinks I should take myself out of the stressful situations. She thinks I should do what I can to make my life easier. 'Easier' is reserved for the next life...my eternity. This life is where the rubber hits the road.
I have a nephew that I need to work with...I am saying my prayers for guidance and strength to do the right things to help him get to where he needs to go...in this life and the next. I have about 3 more weeks before he is here. Dear God, help me be prepared for this.
I managed to find another vehicle. I was ready to quit, again. We had been out looking a few times. Nothing really serious. But one day we headed down south of the city...about a 40 minute drive. The experience at that particular dealership was not at all good. 5 HOURS out of my life.
We made it back home and my husband just decided to drive through a couple of dealerships on the edge of town...5 minutes drive from our place. We had gotten lucky about 7 years ago and found a van that I LOVED. It was the one my son had gotten into an accident with. I did not see anything there that I was impressed with so we drove down the road to the Ford dealership. To make a long story short...I found a vehicle that I fell in love with and it is NOT a van. It's an SUV. God supplied me with just the right thing. The only thing about it is it is in the shop having wiring harnesses replaced and a few other little things taken care of so that it is in the best shape possible before I drive it. Yes...a used vehicle. I have never had a new one. Even if I get a job I can't see me spending my whole first year's salary on a car. I may graduate to NEWER used vehicles and spending only HALF of my first year's salary on a vehicle. HA!
I may not have been blessed with a job, yet, but God is working things out. God is working on ME. God has blessed me and my family. Once one gets that, it makes it easier to breathe every day.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Handling It
The job did not come through. I went through a lot of emotions in the span of two hours. It was not a job I know I would have kept. It was just something that would help out with the bills until I got something I liked better. I am still lamenting not using my teaching license.
One has to wonder, though, just what it is that I am missing? On the flip(pant) side, it was not something I was supposed to do. God has another purpose. I just am not getting it.
Philippians 4:6 "Do not worry about your life." God is guiding.
My oldest sister passed a book onto my mother who passed it on to me over Thanksgiving. It is written by Dr. Charles Stanley and is entitled How to Handle Adversity. It has really helped enlighten me. He has used the story of Joseph's life to illustrate.
I know I get upset with not knowing what God is doing...what the purpose is. Wouldn't you like to pray and get an answer? Lots of times there is silence. Nothing seems to change. As humans, we want to see instant change, get instant answers. We don't want to have to wait in line at the checkout for longer than 3 minutes...and that's pushing it!
Now imagine Joseph...sold as a slave by his brothers. Years of servitude, false accusations, time in jail...and all that time having to hold on to faith that God had a purpose for his life. Sometimes the wheels that are set in motion have a lot of turns to make and a lot of mechanisms to move.
Karen told me to not take it so personal...God will supply our needs. I have to pull myself back from that inner carnal nature that WANTS more. I have more than a lot of people and I feel thankful and blessed.
Troy keeps drumming away at me to write. He thinks I should be writing books. I do not see myself as an author. I am not sure why he has that in his head. But he has been banging on that drum for many years...at least 15. I don't know what I'd write...my thoughts are too scattered.
So I am meeting with another college advisor and taking another run at the math teaching degree.
Life is a kaleidoscope. Jumbled, ever changing, and colorful.
One has to wonder, though, just what it is that I am missing? On the flip(pant) side, it was not something I was supposed to do. God has another purpose. I just am not getting it.
Philippians 4:6 "Do not worry about your life." God is guiding.
My oldest sister passed a book onto my mother who passed it on to me over Thanksgiving. It is written by Dr. Charles Stanley and is entitled How to Handle Adversity. It has really helped enlighten me. He has used the story of Joseph's life to illustrate.
I know I get upset with not knowing what God is doing...what the purpose is. Wouldn't you like to pray and get an answer? Lots of times there is silence. Nothing seems to change. As humans, we want to see instant change, get instant answers. We don't want to have to wait in line at the checkout for longer than 3 minutes...and that's pushing it!
Now imagine Joseph...sold as a slave by his brothers. Years of servitude, false accusations, time in jail...and all that time having to hold on to faith that God had a purpose for his life. Sometimes the wheels that are set in motion have a lot of turns to make and a lot of mechanisms to move.
Karen told me to not take it so personal...God will supply our needs. I have to pull myself back from that inner carnal nature that WANTS more. I have more than a lot of people and I feel thankful and blessed.
Troy keeps drumming away at me to write. He thinks I should be writing books. I do not see myself as an author. I am not sure why he has that in his head. But he has been banging on that drum for many years...at least 15. I don't know what I'd write...my thoughts are too scattered.
So I am meeting with another college advisor and taking another run at the math teaching degree.
Life is a kaleidoscope. Jumbled, ever changing, and colorful.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
My Plate is Full...TYVM
Over the years the polymyalgia/fibromyalgia (not really sure which one it is...doesn't matter cuz it hurts) has slowly sapped my zest. I used to thrive on doing lots of things. I can't really blame it all on the disease either. There are other circumstances such as age, menopause, and too many stressful situations.
This last week was a doozy. On Monday my husband's car was hit in the back end by someone running a red light. Thankfully it was a hit in the back driver side fender and the guy wasn't going real fast. But it is a tangled web of insurance since the guy was driving a rental car on a business trip and his company insurance is supposed to cover it and his company's insurance company is being somewhat unresponsive.
Then the next day I got t-boned by a 'kid' traveling much faster than the 25 mph limit. The van I had just gotten 3 months ago and had only made 2 payments on was totalled. I was not hurt. And the officer that showed up to manage the accident ended up hand cuffing the one that hit me because there was an outstanding warrant for his arrest. I believe it was traffic related.
Troy and I had decided to take in his youngest nephew, Kevin. He is 6 months younger than our son. Kevin's mom (Troy's sister) left him and his dad when Kevin was about 14 years old. She met another man and decided she wanted another life. Kevin's dad did the bare minimun with Kevin. He barely paid attention to him. Kevin had no guidance and felt like the child that no one wanted. His dad was just biding his time until Kevin graduated from school so he could kick him out. Kevin's second oldest brother Tommy invited Kevin to go to Georgia and live with him and his significant other. It was not a good situation and Tommy did not help Kevin in any way. Kevin met a girl who's grandmother helped him get a job. He moved in with this girl and her mom and grandmom until he could get his own apartment. Once he paid his rent and utilities he had very little left for food. He got down to a very very dangerously thin frame. His oldest brother, David, who has bounced from job to job to job and friend's house to friend's house for YEARS and loves to be drunk and high, decided to go live with Kevin and 'help' him with rent and bills. Kevin's mom and grandmom (Troy's mom) took David down there and picked up some furniture for them and filled the cupboards with food. Kevin's mom took both boys to the welfare office and got them signed up for some food stamps. It wasn't a lot they got but it helped. Kevin got David a job at the factory he was working at. Kevin got laid off and decided to try it back up 'home' in Ohio. David moved on to Florida to mooch off another friend for a while.
Kevin has been desperate. He is living out of a suitcase roaming from friend's house to friend's house. His mom and her new husband won't take him in...and if they offered Kevin wouldn't go cuz he is not comfortable with the new 'dad'. His own dad has started a whole new family with a wife he brought in from the Phillipines. She is younger than Kevin's oldest brother. She came with a little girl and she and Kevin's dad just had a little baby boy of their own. Kevin is 'allowed' to live in the basement...no room...just a basement. And it is cold down there. His dad says it would cost him too much to put a dehumidifier and small heater down there.
Kevin became suicidal. He had no one to show him a way out. He wants to have a better life. His friends back home just like to do drugs and drink. They are lucky to have pizza delivery jobs. Troy and I told him if he really wants a better life, he can come stay with us and we will help him find a school and career choice...fill out paperwork...get financial aide...just give him a leg up. TJ talked to Kevin and helped him understand that he isn't being a mooch if we are offering and as long as he is going to school and really trying to get somewhere. So, Kevin decided to take the offer. The first part of January we will be moving him in. He will have his own bedroom in our basement. The difference is he will have a ROOM. Our kids have their rooms in the basement. We run the dehumidifier and it has heat. He will have a carpeted floor. He will have his own space. He comes with bedroom furniture, a TV and a car. About all he needs.
We are setting up a dorm fridge for all of them to use down there. There is also a microwave and their own little pantry. There is also a kitchen table and chairs. I have alerted Kevin to the fact that I do not want to see that fridge full of beer all the time. If he has a job along with school (he may be collecting unemployment) then he will only be allowed to drink on nights when he doesn't have to rise and shine for work or school the next day. He may be almost 21 but this is our house. Our son knows no matter what age he is he has to follow the rules of OUR house as long as he lives here. This might be a little tough for Kevin considering his parents didn't make them follow rules. They just didn't care. Kevin just needs some one to teach him self discipline. It has been tough with my son but he gets it. They all think being an adult and being able to make your own decisions is all fun and games but then they find out otherwise. I just want him to be able to make good decisions.
I am kinda not looking forward to another person living in the house all the time. I don't know how this is going to work. We tried this with Kevin's brother Tommy at one point but Tommy left after 2 months to go back to Georgia to the female he had wanted to get away from. The only thing I can say about Tommy is that he is a worker and he has taken care of himself. He just doesn't do well taking care of anyone else.
I tried doing some volunteer work for a dog rescue group in our town. I told them that I am going to have to take a break until probably February. I have a job interview on Thursday again. It is the second and final interview for a job. Not counting on it only because nothing has come through for me thus far. I know I really need it...been needing a job desperately for many months.
Life is never what you think it's gonna be...
This last week was a doozy. On Monday my husband's car was hit in the back end by someone running a red light. Thankfully it was a hit in the back driver side fender and the guy wasn't going real fast. But it is a tangled web of insurance since the guy was driving a rental car on a business trip and his company insurance is supposed to cover it and his company's insurance company is being somewhat unresponsive.
Then the next day I got t-boned by a 'kid' traveling much faster than the 25 mph limit. The van I had just gotten 3 months ago and had only made 2 payments on was totalled. I was not hurt. And the officer that showed up to manage the accident ended up hand cuffing the one that hit me because there was an outstanding warrant for his arrest. I believe it was traffic related.
Troy and I had decided to take in his youngest nephew, Kevin. He is 6 months younger than our son. Kevin's mom (Troy's sister) left him and his dad when Kevin was about 14 years old. She met another man and decided she wanted another life. Kevin's dad did the bare minimun with Kevin. He barely paid attention to him. Kevin had no guidance and felt like the child that no one wanted. His dad was just biding his time until Kevin graduated from school so he could kick him out. Kevin's second oldest brother Tommy invited Kevin to go to Georgia and live with him and his significant other. It was not a good situation and Tommy did not help Kevin in any way. Kevin met a girl who's grandmother helped him get a job. He moved in with this girl and her mom and grandmom until he could get his own apartment. Once he paid his rent and utilities he had very little left for food. He got down to a very very dangerously thin frame. His oldest brother, David, who has bounced from job to job to job and friend's house to friend's house for YEARS and loves to be drunk and high, decided to go live with Kevin and 'help' him with rent and bills. Kevin's mom and grandmom (Troy's mom) took David down there and picked up some furniture for them and filled the cupboards with food. Kevin's mom took both boys to the welfare office and got them signed up for some food stamps. It wasn't a lot they got but it helped. Kevin got David a job at the factory he was working at. Kevin got laid off and decided to try it back up 'home' in Ohio. David moved on to Florida to mooch off another friend for a while.
Kevin has been desperate. He is living out of a suitcase roaming from friend's house to friend's house. His mom and her new husband won't take him in...and if they offered Kevin wouldn't go cuz he is not comfortable with the new 'dad'. His own dad has started a whole new family with a wife he brought in from the Phillipines. She is younger than Kevin's oldest brother. She came with a little girl and she and Kevin's dad just had a little baby boy of their own. Kevin is 'allowed' to live in the basement...no room...just a basement. And it is cold down there. His dad says it would cost him too much to put a dehumidifier and small heater down there.
Kevin became suicidal. He had no one to show him a way out. He wants to have a better life. His friends back home just like to do drugs and drink. They are lucky to have pizza delivery jobs. Troy and I told him if he really wants a better life, he can come stay with us and we will help him find a school and career choice...fill out paperwork...get financial aide...just give him a leg up. TJ talked to Kevin and helped him understand that he isn't being a mooch if we are offering and as long as he is going to school and really trying to get somewhere. So, Kevin decided to take the offer. The first part of January we will be moving him in. He will have his own bedroom in our basement. The difference is he will have a ROOM. Our kids have their rooms in the basement. We run the dehumidifier and it has heat. He will have a carpeted floor. He will have his own space. He comes with bedroom furniture, a TV and a car. About all he needs.
We are setting up a dorm fridge for all of them to use down there. There is also a microwave and their own little pantry. There is also a kitchen table and chairs. I have alerted Kevin to the fact that I do not want to see that fridge full of beer all the time. If he has a job along with school (he may be collecting unemployment) then he will only be allowed to drink on nights when he doesn't have to rise and shine for work or school the next day. He may be almost 21 but this is our house. Our son knows no matter what age he is he has to follow the rules of OUR house as long as he lives here. This might be a little tough for Kevin considering his parents didn't make them follow rules. They just didn't care. Kevin just needs some one to teach him self discipline. It has been tough with my son but he gets it. They all think being an adult and being able to make your own decisions is all fun and games but then they find out otherwise. I just want him to be able to make good decisions.
I am kinda not looking forward to another person living in the house all the time. I don't know how this is going to work. We tried this with Kevin's brother Tommy at one point but Tommy left after 2 months to go back to Georgia to the female he had wanted to get away from. The only thing I can say about Tommy is that he is a worker and he has taken care of himself. He just doesn't do well taking care of anyone else.
I tried doing some volunteer work for a dog rescue group in our town. I told them that I am going to have to take a break until probably February. I have a job interview on Thursday again. It is the second and final interview for a job. Not counting on it only because nothing has come through for me thus far. I know I really need it...been needing a job desperately for many months.
Life is never what you think it's gonna be...
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