Almost every morning my younger sister calls me and complains about being fat, her girls being fat, her job, etc. This morning was no different. She told me that she told her girls that every day this summer they are all going on a walk. Then she turns around and says, "oh. I can't get myself motivated. How am I going to motivate us all?"
I was not feeling quite so charitable this morning. I just said, "You WILL do it because you know it is the only thing that is going to make a difference. Here I sit with no husband and no job. How do you think I feel? "
I talked to Brian this morning too. He works 2nd shift cuz he says he likes it better. I really need to correct myself...I didn't talk to Brian as much as he talked to me. He talks A LOT. He says he is not always that way. He is at first because he is nervous. I really need to follow through and meet him in person. I told him I would meet him once I am done with my class...June 7.
I sat and thought about my life after getting off the phone with him. I really hate this. Having to do the dating thing all over again. I hated it the first time around. I remember thinking then that I would never find anyone that I could stand to spend the rest of my life with. Then I just married Troy cuz I got tired of looking and waiting and I thought he and I would be okay. I did love him...just not in an all consuming way.
I thought about not having a job and that I need to quit waiting for the job I want and just get a job. Period.
I cried about it again. Just because I am afraid. I am not angry. Just sad. No longer angry. And I finally got the message that this is going to be better.
And now Brian texts...a lot. As I said, I hope I can go through with this. I need to. He is just kinda...in a different place. He has been divorced for 7 years. I have been divorced for 7 months. ugh
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