Mack Truck

Despite the fact I feel like I got hit by a mack truck...

Yesterday I put out another 4 applications.  Charter schools are opening up the available openings for next year.  The school year is done for them so they are getting a jump on filling out the ranks for next year.  If I know I have a job in August I can make it.

I have 2 more apps to do today, a paper to finish and a Power Point to do. 

And I feel like crap.  But a warm shower and hopefully I will rebound.  Oh...and some Excedrin.

The paving has started...sort of.  They have been busy making sure all manhole covers are removable.  Lots of pounding and dinging. 

Inspite of Troy's moods I still was able to enjoy my life for the most part.  I told him I gave him way too much credit for being the villain in this divorce however, it still remains that he was the one who decided to end it.  It amazes me that after all of this time he is trying to tell me he DIDN'T decide for sure he wanted a divorce...it was a maybe and that because I didn't try to 'plead my case', so to speak, and went to a lawyer, that it ultimately was my fault. 

Sheesh. 

I realized last night that there were lots of things that kept me from divorcing him.  And they are little things..or at least they would seem like little things to some people...and weird. 

Part of it was keeping my family whole.  I thought about what it might be like if I ever have anyone else in my life.  Sitting around at Christmas you cannot reminisce about past family Christmases...cuz there are none.  This new person is not a part of it. 

I know...it is an adjustment that people get used to.  Like I said, it is one of the many weird things that kept me hanging on because it is all important to me.