I am not holding my breath that I will get a job offer from the interview today. They asked lots of questions and I didn't see anything in any of their faces that said, "I want to hire her!" I gave it my best.
I haven't been in the classroom for 15 years. I took classes to make sure I kept my teaching license but things have changed so much, I am left by the side of the road. When I went into teaching, it had been basically the same for decades...teaching manuals, student books, work books, etc. Then things started getting intense somewhere in the last 15 years.
God is definitely going to have to have my back on this one. Otherwise, why am I going further into debt for a Masters Degree that may not help me in anyway?
I have been left with a terminal headache that will not go away. I had to put cover up AROUND my eyes because purple circles have appeared. That is a first.
I am not sure what kind of label you would put on me but...things need to make sense. When life goes sideways I have a very difficult time wrapping my mind around it. That is why I always TRIED to think things through and be ready, as much as possible, for anything that may happen. Then I would not come unhinged. I thought I had gotten better at shifting gears and directions. But there are too many variables this time. Too many moving parts all once.
I was sitting at the table with my daughter...getting ready for my interview...helping her with the college registrar..which seems to be telling her and her counselor 2 different stories...she is not fully registered because she has to take placement tests (that she already took) OR they do NOT have her registration.
What did I say...too many moving parts.
The ex is leaving the gf at his sister's on Memorial Day and bringing his nephew to help him load things. I am torn between loading any of it myself OR just leaving it all in the garage for them to load it all. If it is in the garage isn't that good enough? AND THEN I am torn between being here and staying inside or being somewhere else.
Purple eyes. I am not sure what to do with that. They burn.
There was a charter school on the other side of the state right near Jackie that is hiring. She was thrilled with the idea of us being like college roommates again. The kids would have to take care of the house while I lived on the other side of the state. If only they were able to take care of themselves, financially. I could sell the house and be gone.
Yes, I resent him because it is all so easy for him. He didn't have to consider anyone else.
My son, on the other hand is feeling great because he is going to start broadcasting the news. He will be 'on air'. While he is still waiting to see if he gets hired over on the TV side of the company in a fulltime capacity, he is going to be doing on air broadcasting. And I am happy he is learning new things and doing something he has wanted to do.
Sitting by myself and considering my past...I realize that part of the reason I am feeling so badly is because I have not hardly EVER been in a place where there wasn't some guy interested in me. He has someone...as self centered as he is. And I am sitting here without someone...and I am not really sure what to do about that. Cuz, I know it is bothering me and THAT bothers me too...that it bothers me to be alone.
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