All the furniture (except for the file cabinet) is in the garage. I still have boxes to tape and put out there. I also have a FEW more items in the house to put in a box. Then all that will be left is gathering his tools together in his rolling tool box.
I went to church this morning and I felt really good. But there were the remarks by other women afterwards. "I would THROW his stuff into the back of the trailer and smash it." "I wouldn't pack ANY of it for him."
Breaking his stuff would serve no purpose other than it would change my kids' opinions of me. And I would feel awful about myself. These women telling me I am a better person than they are for not doing what they said they would do....I doubt it. I know we all think of mean things when we are hurt but how many people really follow through? And if they do...does it REALLY help anything?
I have prayed about what to say to him for the 'farewell conversation'. I have an idea. Not sure if he will sit still for any of it. If he does...fine. If not...oh well. I am fine with either way.
After I finish this class I am taking 2 weeks before my next class starts. I am going to finish sorting things, organizing things, and working in my gardens. I want to feel like I am getting some control in my life. Maybe I have been lucky that I had 'time' to wallow but I am not sure it really was a good thing. However, it is how it worked out. I let it go that way too. God knows me and how I don't operate.
Don't hate me because I am spoiled. Where are the people that like you inspite of yourself?
Tomorrow evening, as long as it is not raining, volunteers are gathering to put in the church food bank garden. I think I will go help out. I need the break from the house and digging in the dirt always makes me feel better.
And that is only the beginning...not the end. Mistakes I made in my past are in my past. Evil Spawn is who he is and our marriage was collateral damage. He has a history of self destructing. I have been set free from the pattern.
1 comment:
Sherry reminded me of AZRON's blog, and I poked in over there, saw link to yours, so dropped in. I don't do a blog on blogger anymore, but pop in to one or two blogs once in a while. Will add you to my tour.
I think the ladies will say things to show they're on your side, and some add bravado. But I doubt all of them would be as tough / cold hearted as they suggest if they were in your shoes. Think it's better to do the right thing, give his tools back, so at least you can hold your head up about your handling of everything.
Hang in there, sounds like you've had your hands full with all this.
Skinny
ex Blogstream if you remember.
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