To Err is Human...

This has been a horrible week.    Horrible.  Starting with David's death, followed by the single mom with 3 adolescent kids evicted from their home...

Thursday was a day of conferences and phone calls.  There is a mother that has been so angry and refuses to talk to the other Family Academic Support Liaison for her young daughter or any of her kids' teachers...she will only talk to me.  I do not know why but...

I have been having such a difficult time with her.  She gets angry, then she's nice, then angry, then nice and to day she finally spilled it...she and the kids' dad have been having problems for weeks and she and the kids are moving out this week.  I kind of wondered about the whole thing because there is his FB page with him and his adolescent behaviour on it...no pic with her in it.  One pic of the kids with ice cream cones.   (yes, we stalk the FB when we have tough cases...looking for clues to understand what we are dealing with).

I had a truancy case hearing followed right up with a call from Evil Spawn.  I really have no words.  After all the trouble...

Oh feck...he is back with the bipolar nut job.  I told him I would let his kids know he will not be here for Christmas.  He started to object and I told him to save it.  He would not have to come up with some lame excuse.

I will not bore you with the details of how I got him to confess...let's just say it was a day of txt messages that raised the red flags in me brain...and some words from a friend...familiar behavior.  I know the pattern.

So...it is official.  I blocked him from my phone.  I will not talk to him.  I told the kids IF he would call their phones and tell them to tell me he wants to talk to me, they are to tell him that unless it is some extreme life threatening emergency, I will not talk to him...even then I will have to think about it.  I will not read his emails.  I will set them to go straight to the spam folder so I can empty it without looking.

I was really angry at first.  I thought I was angry at him but then I realized that it wasn't him I was angry at.  I expected something like this from him...I was waiting for his NEXT gf.  I way underestimated the time he would be alone...not sure he has been alone.  However, I did think he would find someone new.  The one I was angry at was me...for letting down my guard and thinking he was going to be different and we could be friends.  I am the definition of insanity.

"I have learned my lesson!  It will be a very long time before I let anyone in my life again!"

I did not know a VERY LONG TIME was less than 2 weeks.  Good to know...taking mental notes.

I had JUST said to my daughter this morning that he was slowly fading from my days.  I told her I knew he would find someone else and all of his 'sweetness' towards me was only because he had been in an uncomfortable position.

But I can now say...he literally sickens me.  And I am upset because 25 years with him made absolutely NO difference in him.  It is as if our marriage was a brief stutter step in his life.  And I am upset that I wasted all of that time...those years.

And I am still lonely.  I am sick and tired of being lonely!  I am a kind, decent, uncrazy, trustworthy person with a big caring heart. Here I am...alone.

It isn't that I am ungrateful for the turnaround in my life so far.  But...lonely sucks.