I read a 'page' on Facebook that is about surviving after a relationship with a Narcissist. It is a sort of a counseling/share place. It is set up and run by a Psychologist who has studied Narcissists and the 'victims'...he has written books on the whole thing. The 'victims' share their thoughts and feelings.
It has actually helped me by facing reality. While it is really painful and debilitating to accept that this person that you thought loved you, never really did...that you put so much of yourself into the relationship to make it work and it was never going to...at some point you have to accept it. You have to or you will drive yourself crazy shouldering blame that you don't deserve.
I spent the weekend at 'home' with my family. While my hometown has gone downhill, it still has some comfort to it. While my parents are becoming more and more hard of hearing and have difficulty understanding, and dealing with things...it is still home and they are still my parents and just being there in that town, near family and friends feels like a big casserole dish of comfort food.
Yes, I feel like running back with my tail between my legs.
I spent a lot of years finding confidence in myself because my mother had a lot of anxiety and 'ran' everyone's life so that everything went the way she needed it to...and because she did that, she did not have much confidence in our abilities to take care of our own lives. I was not praised but was reminded of my short comings. Then I married Darkness and was not praised but reminded of my short comings.
I dated guys that showered me with flattery and flowers then when they felt they had me, they started in with running me and reminding me of my short comings...all to keep me under their control.
I have a lot to offer. I am smart, resourceful, creative, kind, thoughtful, and will bend over backwards for most people. I deserve to be loved and appreciated. I deserve to be praised...not reminded of my short comings.
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