My father seems to be out of the woods. The specialists had found clots in his lungs Tuesday night during one of the ICU xray checks on his condition. They had thought they would need to go in Wednesday morning and open him up and put in a screen.
They took him off the blood pressure meds that he had been taking for the last year. They felt that was what was slowing his heart rate and what caused the blood clot in his leg. Then they started giving him meds to dissolve the clot. They must had been right because by the time my mom and older sister got to the hospital Wednesday morning his heart rate was up, he was alert, the platelet count was climbing, the clot was dissolving and the swelling in his leg was going down. The doctors decided the surgery was no longer necessary..his lungs were fine.
Had lots and lots of prayers going out for him. God heard and helped.
It was sunny and warm outside this afternoon so I decided to go to Lowe's and hunt down the price for new flooring for the family room. The carpet is old and has been there for heaven knows how long before we moved in. 3 dogs have not done it any good. I am putting down vinyl planks that match the hard wood floors in the rest of the house. Just the planks alone will cost me just over $200. I can buy them as soon as I get my retirement money from DP&L.
Then I meandered over into the garden section. Big mistake. The perennials were on sale. I bought some Echinacea, Sedum and...something I have wanted for a long time...a butterfly bush! It had butterflies on it too! I was loading those into the car and I realized that I wouldn't be hearing anyone yelling at me about buying more plants...that it was an unnecessary expense. I smiled. I sang. It was a wonderful feeling.
I haven't heard anything out of him so I am assuming he hasn't gotten his certified letter yet.
I have been thinking long and hard about why I am so angry at him for telling me he wants a divorce. It isn't like I haven't verbalized the same thing dozens of times over the years (just not to him). I think it is because of his timing. And the idea that he can't be honest about the idea that he had this planned for longer than I care to think about. Perhaps it makes me ill thinking about how long he stuck around when he really didn't want to be here.
I will never really know unless he can be honest about it and I don't want to hear it.
Or am I angry because it was he that had the good sense to pull the trigger while I kept going back and forth between wanting to end it and thinking there might still be some way we could work it out.
Doesn't really matter. I need to get my arse in gear and make sure I have things lined up.
Tomorrow my son begins his new job. He has weird unstable hours he is working for that and still keeping his stocking job at Foodtowne for now. He is nervous about what he is going to be learning and doing. Welcome to the real adult world.
And now...time for some sleep. Tomorrow will bring new challenges and I need to be able to face them.
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