To Sleep...Perchance to Dream

Thank you to those of you kind enough to read and give m words of encouragement/insight.  I really appreciate it...I do.

I am just so exhausted.

Irony...my job.  Helping others figure out how to get over the hump and keep going.  I give them encouragement, pep talks, sympathy, empathy and perhaps a little laugh.  I certainly wasn't there this morning when I went off to work.  But there are always lots of ppl in a worse place than me. 

One poor guy called in to find out what he owed on his electric acct....his wife of 31 years had died a month ago.  He worked, she worked and she took care of EVERYTHING.  She paid all the bills, did the banking, cleaned, did the laundry, the cooking.  And now here he is, not much older than I, and has no clue what is going on or how to do it.  I was able to explain to him how to get organized, and found that his wife had signed them up to an online/paperless acct.  I deleted it so he could go back to thepaper bill.  I had to tell him HOW to pay his bill...since we no longer have payment ctrs of our own.  It took me some time, but the poor guy had no idea...

One guy called up and wanted to talk sports with me while I was setting up his new account.  He sounded like rather old...his voice.  But it turned out he was a year younger than I!  yikes.

And yes...I need to see a doctor.  A few different kind of doctors.  I need a really good endocrynologist becuz of my thyroid.  I need a doctor to diagnose and treat my anxiety/depression.  And I wish there was something I could do about the fibromyalgia.  the nerves in my arms continuously feel like I hit my funny bone in my elbow.  but I don't want to take any of those pharmaceuticals they have for the problem.

I am hoping to get out and dig in the dirt after work tomorrow.  The sun and nature make me feel better.

and really...what is the interest in 'Wicked Tuna'?    He watches the most random stuff.  altho I must admit, I have gotten invested in 'The Deadliest Catch' and 'Duck Dynasty'. 

oh...and shame on me.  By trying to have a conversation about our almost non-existant relationship last night, I have ruined his happiness high about the possible new job.  I just couldn't let him be happy (his words).  Nope...guess that was my intention.  Cuz that's what I'm all about...screwing with ppl.  Believe me...I have thoughts of bazillions of ways to screw with ppl but I don't do it...cuz I believe in karma.