The Unfinished

I believe in prayers being answered.  The tricky part is the patience.  God will work things out but it is on His timeline.  And sometimes, the answers to prayers aren't what we had envisioned...or they are but some not so pleasant things have to happen in order for us to reach the answer we want/hope for/pray for.

My son, after so many years of struggling on both our parts, loneliness, confusion, medication that didn't help or made things worse, problems with his father...he is finally in a very good place.  He is in a school where he is excelling and loving what he is learning and what he does.  He had ppl backing him up trying to get him into a company that he can grow into his field ( radio programming/production/broadcasting) and, after many, many, many frogs, he has this most amazing girlfriend that I can see him being with for the rest of his life.  The funny part about where he is headed with his career is it is not at all where he started out wanting to go but he 'accidently' found it was something he really loved.

Now I pray that my daughter has the same success. 

I look around my house feeling very bad because when we bought this house not quite 5 years ago, I envisioned so many possibilities.  Things we could do to make it 'ours' and comfortable to be in until we retired and THEN may want to move on.  Or die here.  I had thought Troy and I could work things out...and it would be okay.

Now I just feel depressed it about it all.  We have not gotten any better with our relationship...there are moments but when it is just moments, then it is no better.  And I spent so much time, money, energy getting a teaching degree and teaching license...and I have nothing.  The best I seem to be able to do right now is a part-time $10/hr. job.  Even with all of the education and job experience I have.  And now it seems I will never be able to even finish what I had hoped to do with this house. 

Everyone is doing well...but me.  I am stuck.