Friday, March 18, 2011

My Turn

As my friend Denise would say, I need a sweet escape.  I have never really figured out what she considers a 'sweet escape'.  She is a full time nurse (in Virginia) and has 6 kids....first 3 were girls, last 3 are boys.  The oldest girl just got married about 2 years ago.  Her husband works in insurance and has a home office.  I see LOTS of pictures on her FB of her and the women she works with out celebrating something all the time...she has a drink in her hand.  I know she goes to lots of rock concerts with them.  When does she find time to be a mom and wife?  None of my business. When we were in HS she was the sensible, nose to the grindstone girl. Well, until Sr. year.  But I won't get into that.

My sweet escape would involve a nice hotel room with a big fluffy bed, room service, and being able to use the exercise room BY MYSELF.  oh...did I mention I would be in that hotel room BY MYSELF?

At the risk of making anyone uncomfortable I think I am entering the 'ornery' part of menopause.  I thought maybe the night sweats was going to be the bad part and that was it.  And when they stopped I was thrilled.  BUT it seems that was replaced by me being demon possessed.  It is getting harder and harder NOT to let the demon loose on my family.  They aren't acting any differently than they ever have....but now it is irritating almost beyond my control. 

1) If you bring it home, take care of it.  Do NOT leave it lying on the floor, the counter, etc for me to finally throw away, put away, etc.  I hate to break this to you people but there is no magic 'Take Care of It' fairy.  It has been me all along.

2) I KNOW that you have your own shoes, MP3 player, shirts, make up, batteries, gum, data stick, etc.  If you know it is MINE...DO NOT FREAKIN' TOUCH IT cuz...guess what?  I DO mind! 

3) You have an alarm clock.  It works.  And no, I am not the alarm clock.

4) Last I knew the dishwasher opened if you just give it a little tug.  Then, you slide out the upper or lower basket and put you RINSED OFF dirty dish in it.  If you want me to, I will set up a web cam and point it at the pile of dishes you left on the counter ON TOP OF THE DISHWASHER and you will never see the dishes just magically sink through the counter into the dishwasher on their own.

5) To my kids: it is YOUR bathroom, I don't use it...I don't WANT to use it.  There are wipes and cleaners, and sponges to use to keep it clean...I have given you demonstrations in leu of a PPT presentation on what they are, how they work, and where they are.  These things do not run on batteries or have an automatic timer.  Unless you want to pay me in real American dollars, you had best be cleaning that bathroom!

6)To my husband:  Why is it when I make the dinner, I set the table, I clear the table, I take care of the left overs and the pots and pans but when YOU make the dinner, I set the table, I clear the table, I take care of the leftovers and the pot and pans?  Something seems a little unbalanced.  And right now...I'm thinking it's me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

On the bright side, this blog is the safety relief valve on the volcano, to minimize eruptions in the house. Do the kids and hubby have set chores? That may not be feasible given all that's going on, I don't know. When we were kids, my parents divided chores up among the kids and we rotated each week. Setting and clearing table, washing dishes, helping cook, making lunches for the next day, etc were all done by the kids. If you didn't do your job, you either got extra work or no allowance.

Nancy said...

Skinny...yes, it is part of the reason I need a blog. Unfortunately, I have been closed up in the house with the same ppl for too many months right now...LOL