So…yesterday was spent trying to calm my son and get him back on track. I sometimes like to ‘pretend’ that his GAD is under control. The fact of the matter is, he is trying to control it but it is a ‘bad case’ scenario. Not a WORST case…but a bad case. He tried going off the meds and doing it solo. It was kinda good cuz he got all that old medication out of his system and he was learning some coping mechanisms. He also found that his ticks got a lot worse becuz he was trying to handle his anxieties solo. Back to the doctor and onto some ‘take as needed’ meds. Helped, but not enough. Then the doctor talked him into starting with a milder med. It seems to work for the most part BUT he is now finding in his most stressful times he may need to add on those ‘take as needed’ pills. He has become so much more responsible in handling his meds himself. This is a huge step forward for him. It shows some maturity and sense of responsibility.
He is trying to handle the whole college thing on his own but I found him using his xbox and his online friends as an avoidance mechanism…pretty much like the guy that has problems at home or work and goes drinking at the bar to forget about it. I pointed out to Jr. what he was doing and made the analogy…and also pointed out that not only did it NOT make the problem go away but it made it worse because instead of taking the time to deal with it, it got worse because he had wasted MORE time. He needed to learn to jump into it right away. He also needed to learn to look ahead and get things out of the way so there was no avoidance issues. He had to utilize the help he had offered to him and any other helpful ‘tools’. I told him to not think of getting help from ‘mommy’ but think of me as a tutor. College is a different world and it can be a stressful world. He has me here to help him learn how to navigate it and cope…and learn his own way of coping so that he can use those coping mechanisms out there in the world.
I think I got through to him with it because he unplugged his xbox and opened up his computer and did a late night work session to get his composition assignment finished and turned in. Then, today, I sat with him and went over his math class study guide to make sure he understood how it was all done so he could go and take his final without freaking out.
I had to do that with Ms. Divine a bit ago. She was avoiding her P.E. assignments and got backed up on about 3 weeks worth of Spanish! Her instructors are very nice and understanding…thank GOD! I sat with her and broke it up into pieces, and talked her through what she was anxious about…what her assignments were really like and she could verbalize and see that she had blown it way out of proportion in her mind. She got caught up in about 10 days and we did a disturbing celebration dance! LOL Now she is staying on task and is so much more calm.
As for Sr…he got caught for a DUI in Kansas when he had to go out there as a favor to another guy in the company who didn’t know what he was doing and needed to make the customer happy. He had a friend out there in that town and he had went out to dinner with the client then met up with his friend to shoot the breeze and pool. The thing is, Sr. usually does any wine drinking or otherwise in the hotel bar. This time, he was out to dinner at another restaurant and had 2 glasses of wine then drank some beers with his friend…forgetting about the previous wine imbibement (I think I just made up that word!). He is not a guy to drink and drive. He no sooner left the bar than he got pulled over…breathalyzer tested and thrown in the pokie. This was way last May. His friend posted his bail and got him hooked up with a lawyer. The state of Kansas pulled his driving privileges except for work related travel…he had to attend a counseling session to be evaluated for risk of repeat offense (which the counselor told the court she saw no evidence of him needing rehab or having a repeat ‘performance’). The lawyer kept dragging out the court date hoping it would eventually be dropped or just a fine levied. We just got word today that a date has been set for April 7…in Wichita. He HAS to appear. So, I am going out there with him…and I’m praying. It is the unknown that bothers me.
As for me…God gives me strength and understanding. There are those moments when I just don’t feel like I want to deal with any of it anymore and just want to pack and run. But I don’t know where I would run to and I can’t do that to any of them. So, I pray…and I exercise. I need the rush of endorphines! My ‘drug’ of choice. My ‘drug’ used to be food…
He is trying to handle the whole college thing on his own but I found him using his xbox and his online friends as an avoidance mechanism…pretty much like the guy that has problems at home or work and goes drinking at the bar to forget about it. I pointed out to Jr. what he was doing and made the analogy…and also pointed out that not only did it NOT make the problem go away but it made it worse because instead of taking the time to deal with it, it got worse because he had wasted MORE time. He needed to learn to jump into it right away. He also needed to learn to look ahead and get things out of the way so there was no avoidance issues. He had to utilize the help he had offered to him and any other helpful ‘tools’. I told him to not think of getting help from ‘mommy’ but think of me as a tutor. College is a different world and it can be a stressful world. He has me here to help him learn how to navigate it and cope…and learn his own way of coping so that he can use those coping mechanisms out there in the world.
I think I got through to him with it because he unplugged his xbox and opened up his computer and did a late night work session to get his composition assignment finished and turned in. Then, today, I sat with him and went over his math class study guide to make sure he understood how it was all done so he could go and take his final without freaking out.
I had to do that with Ms. Divine a bit ago. She was avoiding her P.E. assignments and got backed up on about 3 weeks worth of Spanish! Her instructors are very nice and understanding…thank GOD! I sat with her and broke it up into pieces, and talked her through what she was anxious about…what her assignments were really like and she could verbalize and see that she had blown it way out of proportion in her mind. She got caught up in about 10 days and we did a disturbing celebration dance! LOL Now she is staying on task and is so much more calm.
As for Sr…he got caught for a DUI in Kansas when he had to go out there as a favor to another guy in the company who didn’t know what he was doing and needed to make the customer happy. He had a friend out there in that town and he had went out to dinner with the client then met up with his friend to shoot the breeze and pool. The thing is, Sr. usually does any wine drinking or otherwise in the hotel bar. This time, he was out to dinner at another restaurant and had 2 glasses of wine then drank some beers with his friend…forgetting about the previous wine imbibement (I think I just made up that word!). He is not a guy to drink and drive. He no sooner left the bar than he got pulled over…breathalyzer tested and thrown in the pokie. This was way last May. His friend posted his bail and got him hooked up with a lawyer. The state of Kansas pulled his driving privileges except for work related travel…he had to attend a counseling session to be evaluated for risk of repeat offense (which the counselor told the court she saw no evidence of him needing rehab or having a repeat ‘performance’). The lawyer kept dragging out the court date hoping it would eventually be dropped or just a fine levied. We just got word today that a date has been set for April 7…in Wichita. He HAS to appear. So, I am going out there with him…and I’m praying. It is the unknown that bothers me.
As for me…God gives me strength and understanding. There are those moments when I just don’t feel like I want to deal with any of it anymore and just want to pack and run. But I don’t know where I would run to and I can’t do that to any of them. So, I pray…and I exercise. I need the rush of endorphines! My ‘drug’ of choice. My ‘drug’ used to be food…
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