Priorities and Goals

 Not everyone has the same priorities. Priorities line up with the type of person you are and how you intend to live your life.

That last line was, believe it or not, a billboard-in-my-head moment for me.  It should not have been something I already knew and I sure I did in the back of my mind but it is now out there hitting me in the face.

It brings things even more into focus for me.  The ego in us wants to know that we are a priority with someone.  We are disappointed when we are not a priority.  BUT, you have to consider the person and how they want to live their life.

If I had done that in my 20's, I would have not married the person I did.  I would have realized at that time he would not prioritize me...his marriage...his kids.  And I just mean he did not prioritize spending time and attention on any of that I mentioned.  He prioritized financially supporting us...the marriage. But his time was prioritized on HOW he wanted to live his life...time with his friends seeking 'fun'.

I am not saying I was/am perfect.  I am not prioritizing what I need to either...especially for the way I want to live my life.  

As far as friends and family I learned a long time ago that everyone has a lot going on in their lives around them and prioritizing their goals and family is what is important. I have never expected anyone to remember ANYTHING about me or my life.  I just naturally expect to have to remind/repeat.  My mother rights things on a calendar when any of us tell her anything special that is going on in our lives...even a doctor appointment. She wants to be 'present' for all of it.   And by that I mean she wants to be conscious of it, pray about it, ask about outcomes.  

I have a problem of being too focused on just my priorities.  I have tried to change that by consciously choosing to be more present for someone else.  I stop and make a mental note of what is going on in someone else's life that is of great concern to them.  I make a conscious effort to step out of my own 'head' and turn my attention on someone else.

My friend Debbie has a habit now of calling me and talking to me when she is driving home from her 12 hour shift of nursing.  She works 2-3 days a week.  She starts with laughingly saying, "I'm sorry I am driving!"  I had to tell her it is fine, I know why she does and it is different than my ex.  Once he moved to Kansas, the ONLY time he talked to me was when he was driving home from work.  I had my suspicions then and they were right....he had someone else at his place and therefore, he could not talk to me once he was home.  And certainly could not speak to me on the weekend then.  So, I guess she gets it now.  

My son will usually just call me when he is out away from his wife.  He has his own issues to deal with there.  Btw, he is signing the closing papers on his house on Monday, which is also his 30th bday. WHAT a bday present to himself!  His contract with McGraw Hill has been extended to at least January and they may end up hiring him fulltime. Even if they don't, he now has an office to be in at home where he can study for his IT cyber security certificates and get a better paying job.

Bethany talks to me every 3rd week.  Life passes by so fast, we just don't realize how much time has passed.  She texts with me.  I pray for her daily.  I have prioritized my concern and for my kids.  

I have also prioritized myself in that I will not stay on my computer working constantly. When 5 o'clock comes, with only a few exceptions, I will shut it off.  I refuse to do work on it on Saturday, which means, also unfortunately, that I may have to sit on on Sunday evening to get things ready for the week.  I will get to a point when the weather is awful, that I may do that work on Saturday mornings instead.  

But, being that it is Sunday morning, I need to do a different kind of prioritizing and get ready for church.