I have a new term...Blast of Lightening.
It is the thoughts that come suddenly into my head...that I wasn't pondering on but it seems God is giving me encouragement or enlightenment about something that gives me an 'AHA" moment.
One day, as I was putting laundry into the washer this thought just suddenly came into my head:
"Things are worked out way in advance...I began working on things before you knew what was coming. I knew what was in Troy's head and heart so I was the reason he lost his job WHEN he did and that he was given that job in another state when he did. I took him AWAY from you to help you. I worked out the unemployment for you for that year because I knew you would need the time. Now that you see...you NEED to not be anxious. I have been there every step. I will be there for you when you need to retire. I will take care of it. Have FAITH!"
I have not been thinking about my ex except when I pray for him. I have come to pity his life. And I have been able to forgive and realize what he has done to me throughout the years was because he did not know better and I had chosen to marry him and I stayed with him. I also realized that because I forgive him does not mean he has to be in my life. So, I pray for him because I care about his soul the way I do everyone's.
I start my day with a prayer of thanksgiving...thankful for the roof over my head, thankful for a job that He keeps helping me to grow in and do better as I go along, thankful for His protection of my family and friends. Then I continue to ask for protection and salvation for family, friends and people that I may not be fond of...my ex is one.
I went to Bible Study/Prayer meeting Wednesday night for the first time. It is a 20 minute drive out into the country to get there. Hardly any traffic. It was nice to be amongst other Christians. It was good to study and pray. I lifted up Heather...a co-worker. I have known her for going on 6 years. She has a boy in 8th grade and she is a single mom. The dad lives in the same city and for some reason they never got married. He is not married either. They are good friends. She would wake early every morning and take her son for hockey practice before she started her job with OHVA. Then at the end of May, she lost sight in one eye and her other eye was blurry. She was admitted to the hospital and she told them she would raise a very large fit if COVID was anywhere on her hospital records. They ran tests and told her she has MS and they gave her something that restored her eyesight...until the end of July when her sight left her..both eyes. It has not returned since. She is a Christian. I know this must be very tough for her.
I told her story in prayer meeting and we prayed for her long and hard. I have not heard anything about her condition yet. I pray for her every day. We used to keep in contact through work IM and FB IM but, of course, there has not been any of that since a FB IM was sent to me to inform me of her eye sight loss. I have prayed about what I can do to encourage her. She is in NW Ohio now at her parents' house and I was given the address. A package will go out soon.
God gives us little 'winks' and we get things that give us just that little bit of joy. I have often looked at my couch and thought about trying to find pillows that would contrast but it was always a non-essential so I have not looked. Then, my sister talked me into going with her to a street sale. As I strolled along and was looking at things, I happened to look down at some things laid out on a sheet by a table and there were these 2 beautiful throw pillows that matched my couch exactly with the colors and they woman said she only wanted $1 for them. So, of course I snatched them. They are perfect and made with strong material. And it made me quite happy. Pillows. Used pillows. for $1. God gave me that little thing that made me happy...an unexpected thing that doesn't mean anything to anyone other than me. At another street sale I found a vase with a butterfly on it...for a quarter and on the bottom of it was written: For Nancy. ha ha! It's the little 'winks' from God.
After prayer meeting on Wednesday night, Debbie insisted she take me for tea and cake for my birthday. As we sat drinking our tea she looked at me and said, "I want you to know that I appreciate your friendship. It is good to have someone there that shares my struggles. It has been a joy to get to know you again." I was shocked and just let that sink in. I thanked her and told her I felt exactly the same about her. We encourage, are there for the other one to lean on when needed, do not judge. I am not here to condemn or cause someone else to stumble. I know what I see and think may not be the whole story and I certainly am not going to make someone feel badly about their life. She struggles and has been through a lot. She has 4 kids that have all gone and are going through so many things and she is trying to help them make the right choices and they are not always going in the right direction. I told her all we can do is pray and set the example. I do not have to 'work' to be her friend, explain myself or beg for her to understand and accept me as I am. Susan is another good friend. She does not judge my every thought and act.
I am feeling that maybe TJ and Brit are doing better right now. I am thankful that TJ has stood in his faith and follows a path he knows is right for him. I pray that they both continue to seek and follow. This new home for them is a beginning to a better existence for them. I pray that God blesses it.
I pray that Bethany and Jordan find their path with God. I will be traveling down to see TJ and his new home in a few weeks. I do not know if I will see Bethany. She and Jordan have been very careful about getting out around others. I told them I will understand if I can't see them right now. They will be up here by May this next year and I can see them all I want. This COVID sucks and it creates a chasm.
I am thankful for the people that have passed through my life that have helped me become who I am. Sometimes these people were painful, sometimes they were helpful but they ALL changed me. God winked.
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