I seem to encourage the time flies by piling up a lot of wasted time. It seems that way. I look back on what I have done with my life and, while I did not accomplish what I thought I was going to accomplish when I was in my hopefilled 20's, I have accomplished quite a bit. It all depends what you measure accomplishment with...is it a career measuring stick, a general life measuring stick, a volunteer measuring stick? If I use the general life measuring stick it all looks pretty good. If I use the career measuring stick, though, it is discouraging.
I have thought that if I had had a life plan and followed it, I would be in a better position in life right now. But I just took life as it comes and jumped into whatever I felt I should do at the time. My life has meandered off the course I had once had in my head. I am at a place where I know I should take my own advice and plan a course and follow it. Some plans have been made and I am working on them...or am I?
I was contemplating the Intervention Specialist certification but I figured it would take too long and cost too much money. Then, the college I take my professional development classes from that helps me keep my license updated, sent me an email announcing their Intervention Specialist program that was only 6 classes in a year and then I could get my certification. I still was not sure. I prayed about it and it just seemed like I should go for it. So, I have been doing that. Now, I am fence sitting again...about my next move.
Just like whether or not I am ready for, or want, a new relationship. I want to be in love. I want to be loved. Yet, I am kind of enjoying my aloneness to a certain extent. I am enjoying only having to take care of me. I am also learning to not keep buying things for my kids that they say that they need or want. I need to take care of my own finances. My kids are just as financially well off as I am. My son and DIL need to figure things out better. They have the money to cover everything but seem to spend a lot of it eating out. I pointed them towards the lower priced grocery stores and told them, "buy it and cook it. You won't gain so much weight but your bank account will grow fatter." Since my son has been on a weird work schedule, I know he is eating a lot of fast food. She could help that situation more...but she doesn't.
I went to see my daughter last night after she got off work. Jordan was working over night. I took our favorite thin crust pizza, her pint of almond milk ice cream, her favorite bread sticks and sauce, plus a six pack of Redd's blueberry ale. She pigged out! I ate more than I should have but we had a nice evening out on her balcony. We talked about a lot of things. I let her talk about the relationship with Jordan. I only added words of caution with encouragement. I basically told her to proceed with caution...things could work out...they have just seriously started working on this. Time will tell. I know she is most worried of ending up staying in a relationship she should have abandoned.
I, on the other hand, am going to make a concerted effort NOT to worry about my lack of relationship. As long as nothing majorly negative turns up for me healthwise, or some life ending event does not rear its ugly head in front of me, I have quite a few years ahead of me and have time to meet someone...or not. It will be what it will be. I just need to make the best out of what I have.
So, having said that...I have a 'to do' list and plan on getting some of that stuff done on my list. If I can stick to a schedule, I should be able to finish it all over my vacation time and still have days and hours left to relax and enjoy myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment