This last week was very stressed, work wise. Another thing with volunteering to handle the load, I not only was paired with our school 'social worker', which made the re-engagement cases more involved, then my Lead asked me to take on some new orientation cases. She asked me how many I thought I could handle. I really had no way of knowing so I said, '10'. Then in the course of taking on those 10, I ended up picking up 1 more because it was a sibling of one of the new cases. It came out okay because one of the new kids I have is withdrawing because his mother said doing her own homeschooling will work better for them.
The re-engagement cases have been dragging their feet and I had to send out the letter that tells them they are not following the Back on Track plans at all so we are now in Phase III...they are in count down stage to withdrawal proceedings. They get 10 points and for every day they do not follow the plan a point is deducted. For every day they miss a meeting with me, a point is deducted. For every day they do not make it to all of their class connect sessions, a point is deducted. So, technically, they could be thrown into withdrawal within 3-4 days. For the younger kids, it is obviously more of a parent issue. For the middle school kids, it is more their issue than the parents' BUT it is also a partial kick in the back side for the parents too.
Personal notes:
My son's fiancee's mother started sending Brit text messages about the bedroom furniture, laptop, and books she had left behind at the house when she had to quickly pack her car and get out. She wanted to give her stuff away or just keep it forever (bedroom furniture). So Brit called her dad to borrow his truck and my son, my daughter's boyfriend (God bless him) and I are going to the house and load her stuff and move it. Brit's dad does not want to see the ex or deal with her (can't blame him, she's nuts) and Brit can't go without police escort. My son is all nerved up and anxious and he says he feels like he is on the verge of a panic attack. I have been praying for control. This woman has been saying some pretty nasty things to her daughter when it is her fault for this situation.
It actually was a good thing for Brit. She no longer has a crazy mom constantly in her ear telling her what a selfish, unappreciative person she is with no skills and unable to take care of herself. Brit, while seemingly moody and self absorbed at times, has come a long way. She is working everyday with people that are not very respectful of her and can be quite mean...but she goes and she works. She is learning to handle her finances and make better choices as time goes on. She asks for advice but has learned to make her own decisions that are what she feels is best for her. The self absorbed part will get better. She has a good heart.
Speaking of self absorbed...
After have a few conversations with Evil Spawn this last week, I have decided that I have learned how not be sucked into the same destructive behavior as before. I do not feel sorry for him...give him excuses for his bad choices...will not help him untangle himself from the mess he created.
His talk about us being friends and 'fixing' things between us...I don't trust him. Not sure I ever will. Even if I sat down and talked with him F2F, I would not trust what comes out of his mouth. Our kids have said the same thing. It is sad that he has ruined his reputation with us all.
I sit and think back to how he has treated me and the kids over those 25 years of our marriage and I really cannot fathom how he and I would, or why we would, get back together. He says he thinks were a pretty good couple and he thinks we can repair it. I have finally settled things with myself and realize he and I should never be together again. I have come to terms that if I am going to have a partner in my life I am going to have to meet someone new and go through all of that.
Evil Spawn may change. I really can't see it. But he COULD change and that would be nice. However, I really feel like there has been too much damage and I do not know, either, how he would ever regain my trust. He does the same destructive decision making over and over and I do not want to be collateral damage anymore...nor do I want to be the janitor and clean up his messes.
I am thinking part of his buttering me up is to take care of the aftermath of his bad decisions. And if I did that, he would be nice to me for a while out of obligation, then he would start in with the criticism and emotional abuse. Wash, rinse, repeat.
As I see it now, at some point he will get the Thug out of his apartment, he will spend Christmas with the kids and visit his family, then, when the holidays are over, he will begin to feel lonely again and meet someone new.
OR he may never move Thug out of his apartment and just stay in that situation.
Either way, it is his life and I am moving on with mine. I have been having this strong feeling within me that when Spring rolls around, someone new will enter my life. I can wait. I have my job to keep me busy. I will also pray that my job will still be there for me next year. I do not trust the company either. BUT God brought me this job and He will help me through.
I prayed about this Evil Spawn situation and I really think God has opened my eyes. That is my answer. ES will not be my partner anymore.
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