This job is taking A LOT of my time. Yesterday, other than the hour and a half that I took to make a run to the bank and grocery stop, I was at my computer from 8 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. I have not been able to do just 8-5 for weeks. The closest I came to that was I shut down at 5:30 last Friday because I was meeting a friend for dinner (a woman from my bible study class that is school speech therapist and is also divorced). Then I worked my butt off (tho, sadly, not literally) out in the yard for 2 days.
TJ went to NYC for a week with a 'friend' of his. His fiancee and I were worried about the whole thing. This 'friend' is a guy he has 'known' for YEARS from Xbox live. They have talked to each other endlessly and shared life stories, daily life, etc. They are both wrestling geeks...WWE, NXT, etc. And there was going to be an extravaganza of wrestling shows in NYC. The trip turned out fairly well. He got to see A LOT. He enjoyed himself except he said it turned out his 'friend' has his dad's (Evil Spawn's) personality. He was happy to get home...especially since he missed his plane and had to be rebooked. He was supposed to come in at 4. I was supposed to leave for my conference at 3. I waited until he was on his new connecting flight out of Charlotte...5:30 pm.
To be fair, we got more work shoved at us Tuesday morning and I was hustling to finish it up to a good point where I could pick it up Friday morning. So, getting out of here until after he got his butt in a plane seat in Charlotte was not that much of a hardship for me. I was on my way before he got home. I got the text when he landed. I 'landed' an hour and half later.
I cannot say I liked where we had our conference. It was the length of AT LEAST 3 football fields and I had to walk 2 of them just to get ANYWHERE. It was a big damn water park resort full of people. I HATE chaos. And I froze the whole time I was there.
And the team I am on...the Family Academic Success Liaisons...eat ALL the time! Breakfast, tons of snacks, lunch, more snacks, appetizers, dinner, dessert. They were constantly passing around food. I just said, "no thanks. I ate breakfast" "no thanks, lunch is soon" "no thanks, I just ate lunch" "no thanks, I am waiting for my dinner order" "no thanks, I am full from dinner" I do not know why they don't all weigh 500 lbs.
Then I got home and worked the next day...ALL DAY.
My mother said, "so that job that you wanted and you said you loved is turning out not to be so wonderful after all."
Yes...I STILL love it. It is a lot of work right now, but I love it all the same. I am eyeing moving into a teaching position at some point (they get paid better too) but I still love my job. Just because it can be long hours, it won't always be this way,. It is the beginning of school and we are working to get these kids and their parents hooked up and ready to begin classes. After that, it is a matter of keeping them on track.
I am very thankful for my job. I am not complaining about the long hours. I am just stating facts as to how long I am working.
Brittany is having a 'time' with her job but she is like me...she is thankful for the job and it is working with kids, which is what she wanted. Not all daycare centers are like the poorly run one attached to my church. She is getting experience and she knows she can use that experience to go somewhere else someday.
I am trying to do some things around the house as I can. Tomorrow I shall try and get the paver patio area sprayed so that I can put in the pavers. I might even spray it tonight. Then I can put the pavers down in the evening. The firepit is going to be a challenge. But I can do it! LOL
I just might post pictures of my finished office and the finished patio. The patio is something Evil Spawn promised to do for many summers. But, like everything else...it never happened.
I sat here this morning thinking about my house...MY house. There is a lot to do, mostly cosmetic. And I might feel badly about calling it MY house...just because I got to keep it in the divorce. I know he is thinking it is more his than mine since it was HIS paycheck that paid for it BUT I have realized that I earned it just as well. I packed and followed him over and over. I put up with his addictions, helped pick him up when he fell, I raised the kids and took care of everything else in our lives...all he had to do was do his paying gig. I did everything else...including putting up with his verbal abuse.
Nope, I think I earned this house. And MAYBE someday there will be a nice guy in my life. I am not really ready for another relationship yet but I can visualize him. God will give me who/what I need at the right time. I am even more convinced of it since I got the job I wanted at just the absolute right time.
God is good...and I hope I will never forget that.
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Stirred Not Shaken
40 hour work week. Not last week. I spent SO much time in my office....
And I got up at 3:30 one morning to drop my son off at the airport, He left for NYC for a week. I was here with his fiancee. All she does it complain...complain about him...complain about her job....
Those 2 belong together! He complains...she complains...
I love my job and actually talking to the families and helping them get started and understand what they are doing is fun. I like this part. The part I am not going to like as much comes later...when I have to call the ones whose kids are not checking into class nor making any progress.
I have to finish the bathroom painting...I do not have my office set up yet. I have been using what i have. I just have not had time to do anything.
I spent all day yesterday trying to get my yard in order. It had been neglected for so long I didn't get much of anywhere. It seemed that way, anyway. But I have two and a half yard waste bags full to prove the contrary. I even cleaned out the garage. Well, I still have some stuff out there to get rid of...but it is basically cleaned out.
Next weekend I am going to definitely get my office painted...finish painting the bathroom and start the paver patio and fire pit. I will have to finish it evenings after work.
I am getting a little burned out by being the only one to work this hard around here. Bethany doesn't half do what I ask her to do. Brittany will do anything I ask, on the weekends. She gets pretty worn out by her job and I can understand that. Working with kids will drain ya.
I am going to sleep well tonight! As long as the thunderstorms aren't too bad tonight. Otherwise Jack will wake me up with his shaking.
And I got up at 3:30 one morning to drop my son off at the airport, He left for NYC for a week. I was here with his fiancee. All she does it complain...complain about him...complain about her job....
Those 2 belong together! He complains...she complains...
I love my job and actually talking to the families and helping them get started and understand what they are doing is fun. I like this part. The part I am not going to like as much comes later...when I have to call the ones whose kids are not checking into class nor making any progress.
I have to finish the bathroom painting...I do not have my office set up yet. I have been using what i have. I just have not had time to do anything.
I spent all day yesterday trying to get my yard in order. It had been neglected for so long I didn't get much of anywhere. It seemed that way, anyway. But I have two and a half yard waste bags full to prove the contrary. I even cleaned out the garage. Well, I still have some stuff out there to get rid of...but it is basically cleaned out.
Next weekend I am going to definitely get my office painted...finish painting the bathroom and start the paver patio and fire pit. I will have to finish it evenings after work.
I am getting a little burned out by being the only one to work this hard around here. Bethany doesn't half do what I ask her to do. Brittany will do anything I ask, on the weekends. She gets pretty worn out by her job and I can understand that. Working with kids will drain ya.
I am going to sleep well tonight! As long as the thunderstorms aren't too bad tonight. Otherwise Jack will wake me up with his shaking.
Monday, August 17, 2015
Another One Bites the Dust
So,,,,got a call out of the blue from an old HS friend, David. I was his first gf...IN EIGHTH GRADE! But he and I have stayed in touch off and on over the years. He is odd. A bit full of himself.
He said his wife is divorcing him. I was afraid of that. As I was going through my divorce last summer he told me of some problems in his marriage. I hadn't heard anything more so I had hoped it had worked itself out.
As I told him tonight, though, I know HS David. I haven't really been physically around him for 35 years. I told him that he, I'm sure, has changed since HS...I am not the same Nancy he remembers. Then he revealed to me that he likes to drink. HS David was squeaky clean. '
So, given that I have not really been around him since HS, and throwing in his revelation, I certainly was not going to sit there and judge his soon to be ex wife. I do not know her AT ALL and David may not be too much in the clear on this one.
I just know that I could not take him in large doses...let alone every day. I would want to shoot myself in the head. And listening to him I also realized there are worse things than being alone.
While I feel sorry for him...cuz this is not going to be a fun journey...I am not sure really how broken up he is going to be about it. AND I am pretty sure he was sitting there drinking while talking to me and getting drunk(er) as the conversation went on.
I find that exasperating. I am not fond of talking to drunk people nor being on the other end of the phone while they are getting there. My oldest sister used to do that to me a lot.
I know he needed someone to talk with on the subject...and I would like to be his friend. I just hope he doesn't call me too often because my ADHD won't take it.
SQUIRREL!
He said his wife is divorcing him. I was afraid of that. As I was going through my divorce last summer he told me of some problems in his marriage. I hadn't heard anything more so I had hoped it had worked itself out.
As I told him tonight, though, I know HS David. I haven't really been physically around him for 35 years. I told him that he, I'm sure, has changed since HS...I am not the same Nancy he remembers. Then he revealed to me that he likes to drink. HS David was squeaky clean. '
So, given that I have not really been around him since HS, and throwing in his revelation, I certainly was not going to sit there and judge his soon to be ex wife. I do not know her AT ALL and David may not be too much in the clear on this one.
I just know that I could not take him in large doses...let alone every day. I would want to shoot myself in the head. And listening to him I also realized there are worse things than being alone.
While I feel sorry for him...cuz this is not going to be a fun journey...I am not sure really how broken up he is going to be about it. AND I am pretty sure he was sitting there drinking while talking to me and getting drunk(er) as the conversation went on.
I find that exasperating. I am not fond of talking to drunk people nor being on the other end of the phone while they are getting there. My oldest sister used to do that to me a lot.
I know he needed someone to talk with on the subject...and I would like to be his friend. I just hope he doesn't call me too often because my ADHD won't take it.
SQUIRREL!
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Bridges of Madison County
I have never watched "Bridges of Madison County". I have it on now...came into the middle of it. Just what I have gotten out of it...I don't see it as a bittersweet love story. I see it as one of those 'grass is greener on the other side' kind of movies. When Meryl Streep's character tells Clint Eastwood's character that she can't leave her husband because he is a kind man that has never hurt anyone and doesn't deserve to have his heart broken...that is the biggest thing right there.
He may not have given her an 'exciting' life...but he gave her a decent life. One where she was loved and had stability. If her life and relationships weren't ALL that she wanted, then she should discuss it with her family.
You don't walk out on relationships because it isn't turning out to give you everything you decided you should have had...it should have been...instead of being what it is. I believe that you sometimes give up what you DREAMED your life would turn into because the people in your life truly love you...no matter who you are or what you do. True love is everything.
While I have happiness with the relationships left in my life, I have one more request for God.
I have looked back at all of the relationships in my life. There is NOT ONE that I can say he was my friend. They all seemed to be the same kind of guy...they would make some gesture for me not because they knew it was something that would give me a smile or a warm glow and they were good with just that, but they did it so I would tell them how wonderful they were...gush over them...pat them on the back...build them a shrine.
I am so happy for my daughter. She has the right kind of relationship. Jordan is her friend. They respect each other. They do little things for each other and with each other that gives the other one a warm feeling...but don't expect anything in return. They are confident enough in their relationship.
My son and his fiancée...remind me in too many ways of my marriage except for one thing...once the argument is over, they WILL sit and listen to each other. But they are both every emotional and wear it on their sleeves. While they both let how they feel physically take over their emotions and lash out at each other, they will eventually calm down and 'fix' it. What they need to 'fix' is immediately reacting to physical and emotional.
I pray that at some point...although I know I am not ready now, although God knows best...I will be blessed, finally, with a guy that can love someone more than himself. Or, he can love...he is generous. I am not speaking of 'generous' in spending money...I am speaking of generous with his feelings and heart.
He can roll with the punches and not let things upset his world so much. He is slow to temper and quick of wit.
I don't ask for much, do I? LOL
He may not have given her an 'exciting' life...but he gave her a decent life. One where she was loved and had stability. If her life and relationships weren't ALL that she wanted, then she should discuss it with her family.
You don't walk out on relationships because it isn't turning out to give you everything you decided you should have had...it should have been...instead of being what it is. I believe that you sometimes give up what you DREAMED your life would turn into because the people in your life truly love you...no matter who you are or what you do. True love is everything.
While I have happiness with the relationships left in my life, I have one more request for God.
I have looked back at all of the relationships in my life. There is NOT ONE that I can say he was my friend. They all seemed to be the same kind of guy...they would make some gesture for me not because they knew it was something that would give me a smile or a warm glow and they were good with just that, but they did it so I would tell them how wonderful they were...gush over them...pat them on the back...build them a shrine.
I am so happy for my daughter. She has the right kind of relationship. Jordan is her friend. They respect each other. They do little things for each other and with each other that gives the other one a warm feeling...but don't expect anything in return. They are confident enough in their relationship.
My son and his fiancée...remind me in too many ways of my marriage except for one thing...once the argument is over, they WILL sit and listen to each other. But they are both every emotional and wear it on their sleeves. While they both let how they feel physically take over their emotions and lash out at each other, they will eventually calm down and 'fix' it. What they need to 'fix' is immediately reacting to physical and emotional.
I pray that at some point...although I know I am not ready now, although God knows best...I will be blessed, finally, with a guy that can love someone more than himself. Or, he can love...he is generous. I am not speaking of 'generous' in spending money...I am speaking of generous with his feelings and heart.
He can roll with the punches and not let things upset his world so much. He is slow to temper and quick of wit.
I don't ask for much, do I? LOL
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
The Pursuit of Happyness
It arrived...like a thief in the night. I sat last night and was thinking over how things are ever changing now....sometimes several times a day. It is a good kind of busy and stress.
At one time last week I wasn't sure having Brit here was going to work. I wanted some sort of calmness in my life where I didn't have to figure things out for another person. But then, God answered prayers and things started to click into place. She was hired into our church daycare. She felt empowered. And with TJ's help she has been able to sit back and see things for what they are. She is doing well with the distance between her and her crazy mom and sister. She is relaxed around here and laughs a lot now. She will still have her down moments but she knows she has the freedom to talk things out with me and TJ. I try not to insert my thoughts into hers. The most I will tell her is I don't understand that whole thing and I blame her mom for it all. She is learning how to do things and she is finding out she is NOT stupid like her mom always lead her to believe. I am seeing a different Brit...happier, more confident.
With the extra person and job schedule in the house, we are all learning to dance together...work things out and help. It is working. It is still in transition but it is working. Even the dogs are getting used to a lot of in and out. Bethany's friends have started popping back in once in a while. I hope to get the new paver patio and fire pit done just in time for fall Mum Festival time. Perhaps they will come gather on the back patio with the fire pit. The pups will be so joyful! LOL
This hub bub...this coming and going and never being truly sure when/who/where things/people are going to be or happen....and everyone is productive and happy...this is the life I like. While it looks like a whirlwind, I like it. It reminds me of 'home'...my teenage years and beyond. There was always a juggling act going on but we always tried to find some time in the week to all gather together and share our thoughts and observations. We TALKED with each other. We let each other be themselves. It is like that here. And it is good. It is right.
God removed the bad part and replaced it with all the things I love.
Evil Spawn would never put up with this life. He would be riding them all to get out and he would be railing on me for allowing it to be this way.
I AM allowing it to be this way because it is how they are all learning to be considerate, thoughtful, independent adults. They are being happy while learning how to work with and around others. Life is a learning process and you have to have the room, freedom and support to be able to change, learn, grow. I love these almost-adults that come and go through this house. They are decent, thoughtful and use wisdom.
God is good. And my life is finally the calm in the midst of the happy chaos...and we all love each other and appreciate each other.
At one time last week I wasn't sure having Brit here was going to work. I wanted some sort of calmness in my life where I didn't have to figure things out for another person. But then, God answered prayers and things started to click into place. She was hired into our church daycare. She felt empowered. And with TJ's help she has been able to sit back and see things for what they are. She is doing well with the distance between her and her crazy mom and sister. She is relaxed around here and laughs a lot now. She will still have her down moments but she knows she has the freedom to talk things out with me and TJ. I try not to insert my thoughts into hers. The most I will tell her is I don't understand that whole thing and I blame her mom for it all. She is learning how to do things and she is finding out she is NOT stupid like her mom always lead her to believe. I am seeing a different Brit...happier, more confident.
With the extra person and job schedule in the house, we are all learning to dance together...work things out and help. It is working. It is still in transition but it is working. Even the dogs are getting used to a lot of in and out. Bethany's friends have started popping back in once in a while. I hope to get the new paver patio and fire pit done just in time for fall Mum Festival time. Perhaps they will come gather on the back patio with the fire pit. The pups will be so joyful! LOL
This hub bub...this coming and going and never being truly sure when/who/where things/people are going to be or happen....and everyone is productive and happy...this is the life I like. While it looks like a whirlwind, I like it. It reminds me of 'home'...my teenage years and beyond. There was always a juggling act going on but we always tried to find some time in the week to all gather together and share our thoughts and observations. We TALKED with each other. We let each other be themselves. It is like that here. And it is good. It is right.
God removed the bad part and replaced it with all the things I love.
Evil Spawn would never put up with this life. He would be riding them all to get out and he would be railing on me for allowing it to be this way.
I AM allowing it to be this way because it is how they are all learning to be considerate, thoughtful, independent adults. They are being happy while learning how to work with and around others. Life is a learning process and you have to have the room, freedom and support to be able to change, learn, grow. I love these almost-adults that come and go through this house. They are decent, thoughtful and use wisdom.
God is good. And my life is finally the calm in the midst of the happy chaos...and we all love each other and appreciate each other.
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