Oh Forget It

Is it the full moon, like one of my friends suggested?  Or is it that by trying to be a shoulder for my friend/ex SIL Belinda to cry on after her dad died that did it?

I fell.  Two steps forward one step back.  I was listening to Belinda relay her feelings...the hurt, the depression and wondering when it would go away or at least not be so strong.  It took me back to remembering how bad that felt for me a few months ago.  And then it unearthed the feelings I thought I had buried...evidently not deep enough.  I have been angry, again, every since.

Then I had some guy from the gardening club I joined contact me through a dating site.  When I told him he was too young for me to date he got nasty.  REALLY?  Who gets upset by being told they are too young?  By the way he reacted he wasn't just too young physically, he is immature.  What I didn't tell him was the other reason I wasn't interested was because he looked like a homeless man. 

THEN I got a call from the guy that reminded me of Dax Shepherd and he didn't like my political views.  Fine.  I am not figuring I could live with yours either. 

Because of weirdo #1 I took myself off of one dating site thus losing my contact with Thomas.  Because of weirdo #2 I realized I really am not ready to want to put up with this whole online dating thing...or dating right now at all.  So I sent a message to the guy I was supposed to have dinner with Friday night and explained why I was cancelling the dinner.  He was nice, said he understood because he still struggles with whether he is ready or not.  Then I deleted myself from ALL dating sites. 

Now I know I am losing weight for me and no other reason.

I felt better actually.  I thought I was going forward a bit too fast. But because I was still in a 'mood', I didn't go to my paint nite.  I wasn't feeling it. 

However, I AM going to the meetup late lunch/early dinner at the Buffalo Jacks on Saturday. I have been wanting to go there for years.  I am not giving that up.

I attended a virtual educator job fair today.  I could tell from the interest and job openings that I am getting my masters in the right area.  I also found that once I get my masters in spec. ed and teach for a couple of years, I can pick up a few adjunct faculty jobs to supplement my income/retirement. 

The only immediate concern is getting a job.