I have several Christian friends that have been dragged through the muck of divorce...spouses that cheated and left them. I have gotten some advice on what to expect, how to navigate, etc.
So, today I am not going to let what he does push my emotional buttons anymore. I am going to distance myself from him as much as possible. And if it all works, if I stay true to the course, and God answers my prayers and I follow scripture...I won't be including him in my blog posts for a while.
I deleted his phone number from my cell phone so that I cannot pick it up and text him whatever my emotions stir up. I put a rubber band around my wrist to snap anytime the thought of him enters my head or I begin to utter something about him from my lips. I have been writing down scripture to guide me and remind me how to get my emotions and actions under control; to remind me who I should be as a Christian; to remind me that God cares about me and loves me and He will give me back my life...the one He has planned for me.
This will be like being addicted to cigarettes for the past 25 years and trying to quit cold turkey. The difference there being those cigarettes can't do anything to you themselves.
I told the kids what I am doing and that it is basically so that I cannot be crazy mom. I told them that they can talk about their dad between them but not to talk to me about him for a while. The only exception is if he does something that is very upsetting TO them, then it is okay if they come to me. I showed them the rubber band. I asked them to forgive me for my past craziness and they just smiled and nodded.
I think I should also force myself out there to join at least one Meet Up group. Find life outside these walls. Perhaps try a new church. I don't know. I need some 'new' that had nothing to do with him.
So, here I go. Say some prayers for me.
1 comment:
Perfect start to a healthier you.
And like cigarettes, the effect and change will be immediate!
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