Preservation

5. Preserve your energy.
In her book, Ready to Heal, Kelly McDaniel urges people who have just ended a relationship to preserve their energy, to avoid cluttering their days with too much activity. She writes, “The energy it takes to endure withdrawal [of a relationship] is equivalent to working a full-time job. Truthfully, this may be the hardest work you’ve ever done. In addition to support from people who understand your undertaking, you must keep the rest of your life simple. You need rest and solution.” You feel tired? You’re working two jobs … that’s why!

I am not sure I agree with that entirely.  Another point in this article I was reading on how to survive divorce, was to take up crocheting...yuck...or read a really good book.  I am reading 3 books at once and I am thinking I should just read the books and nothing else.  But, if I do that, then who is going to do what needs to be done around here?

I have to go shopping for a new hot water heater.  The one we have is at least 10 years old and it has a little leak in the bottom. My dad said hot water heaters only last an average of 10 years and there is no fixing them once they start to leak.  yay. 

I spent Saturday afternoon spraying the fence with water proofing/preservative.  Today I planted a tree in the back yard. 

I have been in so much PAIN for the last 3-4 days.  I hobble.  I feel like it takes a major amount of energy just to get around.  Doing yard work today was so hard!!  Saturday I was in such pain I actually cried...not a sobbing cry...just let the water leak from my eyes.  I helped my son put his bed together the night before and move his mattress downstairs.  I also discovered the water heater leak when I had to open the furnace and clean the flame sensing unit because while helping him put his bed together I heard the furnace keep trying to kick on but not succeed.

So today I fell down the rabbit hole again...cursing my pain, cursing my life...cursing the ex.  I do know that things will change and get better but today I was not feeling so positive. 

I know that things will be taken care of around here...maybe not as quickly as I would like but I just need to slow down and prioritize.  Some things will be easier once he gets his crap out of here and I can deal with the rest.  I am just itching to go through the garage and other places of the house with a big garbage bag.  I want this house to be cleared of him.  I am looking forward to May when he comes with the truck to get his stuff...and I am also dreading it because it will stir things up all over again.  But...I will mentally prepare myself and by May my life should be in a better spot.

I have so many things I want to do with my life...and not just meaning career wise.  I want to learn how to dance and I found a dance studio that is close by...but I need a partner to go with.  I want to keep writing and hope to make what I'm writing better.  I am thinking about joining the town orchestra...so many things. 

In the meantime...what I NEED to do is get a new water heater and finish my daughter's room.  The one thing I am going to do for myself to get me out of the house is join the women's bible study group on Wednesday night.