This is too Bitter...Pass the Sugar

I will not go into the whole Christmas vacation thing.  I got to see Max, the kids got to have their dinner with their dad and meet the new woman.  The kids are sort of iffy about her. Bethany says it is too soon...she thinks the woman is too quick to rush in and embrace everyone and it makes her want to back away.  I get that because I am like that.  TJ said the woman acts a little too High Schoolish but at least she seems like a decent person and if this is the best that his dad can do and it works for him then he will accept it.

The weird part of it was that part of Douche's family contacted me afterward to make sure it is okay with ME that they get to know her....weird.  They said they felt as if they are betraying me.  I had to give them the talk..."he is related to you.  I am not his wife...she has not done anything wrong and you should get to know her."  I get that some of them like me more than they do him but...I view this as the thing that will allow them to let go of me.

I had an epiphany tonight...that I AM alone here...and I am not saying that in a depressing way.  What I am getting at is, I am alone...not connected to anyone and I do not have to 'worry' about what anyone thinks about what I do or how it will impact someone else.  Within reason.  I am free to do what I need to do or want to do ...for me.  No one else.  This is a new revelation.  For the first time in 27 years, I do not have to be just THE MOM...or someone's wife.

So, to that end.  I get up every day and read some Bible, then do a 10 minute deep breathe/relax/prayer session.  I get up, exercise for about 10-15 minutes, do the Bible meditation, eat breakfast then begin work.  I am feeling better.  This morning's bible reading was Colossians Chapter 3.  I won't quote but verses 8 and 13 are what I really needed and I will be focused on them for the week.

Ironically, the last class I have to start this Monday is all about writing IEPs.  yep..great timing.  I am hoping homework will be easy.  At the same time, I am learning how to do progress reports and I have 11 days to finish them all.  Some of them will be easier than others.  The ones at the end of semester 2 will be easier because they did not tell us what we needed to keep notes about.  Now I know and I will keep notes.  For these progress reports I have to pour through their course work and what notes I did keep to fill in progress and how many classes they attended.

Ugh...always something.  I will never get time to write my book.