The Voice

I have a new thing I need to do now...everytime I go to the store and buy something, I have to scan the receipt and send it via email to the guy to whom I am legally stuck. I am sick and tired of him calling me up and questioning why I spent what I did at the grocery store. He hangs up on me when I stick up for myself and let him know what an ass he's being. This is NOT going to last much longer. I am NOT going to spend one day of my life in Wichita with him. He has done so many destructive things to himself and his family...but don't bring it up cuz we are supposed to get over it and pretend it never happened. He has put me down, demeaned me and never sees anything wrong with himself. It is ALL me...or someone else. I made it through work today. The customers no longer get to me. The 'stories' they tell me about their lives now make me roll my eyes into the back of my head. That by no means makes me a bad person. They are just overly dramatic and lay it on too thick to be believable. "I was out of town for the last month cuz my uncle died and my brother was in a car wreck then my appendicts burst and now I find this letter that says my electricity is going to be disconnected tomorrow for nonpayment. Can I get an extension?" No...there is NOTHING you can do except pay the freaking bill!!! of course, I put it a whole lot nicer than that. And I use a very nice voice to do it with. My daughter was laughing at me when I demonstrated 'the voice' to her. The problem with 'the voice' sometimes is that guys actually flirt with me on the phone. REALLY? You can't pay your bill, or can't scrape up the deposit money on a one bedroom apartment but you are trying to pick up some chick on the phone that you can't even see. yuk. 'the voice' does keep the mean ppl from really being mean. They hear the soothing voice and they instantly calm down. Really. it happens. Anyway, I made it through today and left work feeling pretty good! Opened the windows, opened the moonroof, turned on the IPod and was playing ELO and Foo Fighters...moving along real good! Stopped at the local grocery to buy some sushi, ice cream, apple ale and great lakes oktoberfest beer. Heading out to the car looking forward to dinner with the kids when the cellphone rang and right away I started hearing 'the lecture' on how to manage money. blah blah blah. When I told him I didn't need to keep hearing the lecture, he told me it was ME that started it and kept it going. He hung up on me when I pointed out it was he who called me and started lecturing ME. When I got home I sent him a text, "I bought ice cream, beer and rented a movie...none of which was necessary" Of course it was like poking the angry dog behind the fence. I am praying for a miracle just so I can put this pathetic excuse for a marriage out of its misery...and mine. Our kids have not called him or texted him since he was home last. They don't want to cuz they know if they do he will turn anything they say into a negative and a lecture. sad. even sadder...he hasn't called or texted either one of them.