Mum's the Word

I love both of my kids. I am so proud of who they are as a person, in general. And, yes, I pat myself on the back for it because I took the time to be patient, listen, advise and slowly open the door and ween them off of the apron strings. I have taken criticism over the years for how I have done things with them. "my kids do this/that already...I can't believe you don't make them do this/that!" "do you still cut their food for them?" "You have to LET them grow up sometime!" You know what? I am a GOOD mom. I don't hover, I don't control...I let the rope out slowly. I know that doesn't sound right but it is kinda it. I don't have a rope on them really. All ppl are not the same. I want my kids to succeed and I am a big believer in the idea that the brain does not fully mature until 25. That does not mean that I want them to live with me until they are 25. With the anxiety issues they have had throughout their lives I could not see them going away to college and handling it. If either of them had CHOSEN to go away to college then I would have prepared them for it but neither of them was comfortable with it, yet. I think it is a good thing that they can go out into the world and then come back to a familiar comfortable place. I encourage them making their own decisions and they will ask me for my perspective on the situation. We will take time to talk through possible outcomes...goals...and then I walk away and let them decide what they want to do and how they want to get there. I do not push them in any direction...unless I can definitely see a crash up ahead. I will set out the warning lights. My daughter always takes the more cautious route. My son has had to be in a couple of crashes before he would start paying attention to the flashing caution lights. I am so proud of him though! I think about him in 7th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade, 11th grade...the panic attacks...his worries that he would never have a normal functioning life...his depressions...the terrible things he has been through at the hands of psychotic ppl...and now he has a 4.0 grade point average...working a part-time job...running around a wrestling show with a camera and editing pay-per-views...doing stand-up comedy at a local club about once a month...and has an amazing gf. She really is. She has anxiety issues too but she supports everything my son wants to do. Even if she doesn't like it herself (i.e...the wrestling). He thinks it is cool they can disagree about things and she says, "It's just a disagreement...we can work it out. Not worth breaking up over." He is used to the gf that disagrees with him then says, "I don't think we should be together." I kept telling him that if he was patient and had faith God would hook him up with the right girl. As for Bethany...she needs a job. One thing at a time. I am putting in for other jobs. The huge conglomerate that bought out the company that I worked for..well..let's just say I know what's coming and I knew it before I was hired. WHATever. Today...I am 53. No big. It is a wonderful day. Sunshine...perfect temperature...fall in the air...and I have an SUV full of mums waiting to be planted. Had Tim Horton pumpkin cappuccino and pumpkin nut muffin with Bethany, Amy and Amber while working out the October calendar of events to come. I also had a nice long heart-to-heart with my son last night. It is a good day. I am going to enjoy every ray of sunshine.