Where do I begin? I want this to be a post I write because things are going great. Some things are okay. Other things...just cause sadness/anxiety...and I really should pray more about it all. I have faith but it most times goes hand in hand with patience.
My vision problem bothers me. More and more every day. I can't afford to go to the retina specialist. I wish I could. Even at that, laser surgery bothers me. I could swallow my pride and use a 'go fund me' account but isn't that like saying I don't have faith in God? And who wants to rely on the kindness and generosity of strangers?
My son seems to have some rheumatoid arthritis in his back...at 26. I think a lot of his back pain could be alleviated with stretching and exercise but he complains he doesn't have time...and I can get that. I gave him that tenz unit I had at the house. It was really his anyway. The chiropractor that was GOOD that I took him to when he was in his teens and suffered from a mild scoliosis prescribed it and our med. insurance paid for it. I told him to use it 1 to 2 times a week and I gave him a tube of Icy Hot with Lidocain in it. I use that on occassion when my nerves in my body are on high alert...like yesterday.
Fibromyalgia. The other part of that is not just the nerve pain. It is fighting the depression that comes with it. Life should not have to be such a battle all of the time. I know there are other people that have it worse and I try to remind myself of that but knowing that I am in better physical condition that others doesn't always cut it. It just cuts the pity party short.
I realized that I should not whine over my position at this point because I am here because of choices I made. All along the way.
My younger sister is in a position with finances that keeps her awake at night too. I am afraid, from the way her husband sounds and acts, that she may end up in the same position I am in someday. Hopefully, not.
My son's car is acting up also. He has not paid of the personal loan he took out for it. I told him that I can find him a newer, better car for about the same price he paid for that one and he can take out a car loan for it and not have to pay full insurance coverage on his car AND the loan could be stretched out over 4-5 years instead which would lower his monthly payments to give him some wiggle room when he needs it. I would have to pay off what he still owes on his personal loan, of course.
He needs a different job. It is a good starter job but he is not going to make it with this job forever.
I need a better paying job...me. I need one that pays like Douchebag's does. I chose the wrong profession. However, IF I had stayed where I was instead of choosing to pick up and move and follow him from job to job, place to place and kept my teaching job, I could have been making really good money by now and ready to retire. couldashouldawoulda
Oh...the choices one makes.
At least my daughter seems okay for right now. She just turned 21. I am not sure about her future with what she has chosen to do...but I will fuss over that another day. I need to concentrate on my classwork and get it done.
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