This has been a week and a half. And it is not over yet.
This week, as far as my job went, I pissed off a whole lot of parents that are too lazy to get their kids on the computer and doing their work. I started off the year working with the families that were 'having problems' at the end of the year. We were hoping to find some that were willing to change their ways. I did manage to find 7. But the ones I have left are struggling. Badly. At this point there is one that is looking as if he will be withdrawn by the end of the week. The others may shape up long enough to be let go from my support period. But they will fall back into their old bad patterns, half of them...and I will be end up ushering them out after another 6 weeks.
Now...as far as my classwork...my continuing education...I am almost caught up after losing my first week to registration snafus. 4 chapters and 2 papers in 5 days. I still have 2 quizzes to take and those need to be done by midnight tomorrow night but I am not so concerned with those. It will take me a small amount of time. Then I am caught up and next week should be somewhat easier. The week after that I have a summary paper to write after observing an IEP meeting. It is the last 3 weeks of the class that concern me. But I will save that for another time. I am just happy to be catching up for now.
As for my personal life...I have made great strides. At least to me they seem like great strides.
I noticed on my FB notices that a few notices popped up with some Hispanic woman's name on it. I did not know her but the source was my ex's FB page. I had meant to unfriend him after sharing the wedding pictures but had not yet. I had left a total of 2 comments on some things on his page. This woman was commenting on what I had commented on. She was letting me know she was there and marking her territory. It was all orchestrated to get a response out of me. Don't worry 'lady' (use the term loosely), he's all yours. My response? I hit the 'unfriend' button. Cut that hot mess of crazy free. I do not care and I am NOT going to get drawn into a Jerry Springer situation.
Let me tell you folks...I used to think bipolars were the ultimate in messes...psychotics are something to run and hide from. But Narcisssists are just the two of those nightmares combined. And the more you do to free yourself, the more they try to pull you back in with any means possible. They use you as a source of dumping their nastiness on you and as a place to get some much needed nurturing when they get themselves into a mess.
I am doing my best to let him know there is no more bridge here between us. I AM going to give him back that check he gave me for my bday. I know most everyone tells me to cash it and use it...that I deserve it. What I REALLY deserve is to have him gone. And taking that check feels too much to me like giving him what HE wants. $50 is not going to make me or break me in anyway.
I just am not sure how I am going to do it. If I send it back to him, I am still giving him some acknowledgment. I think I will just rip it up and not cash it. If he notices I will let one of his kids tell him that I ripped it up and didn't cash it.
At some point they just MIGHT decide that they need to disconnect with him also. It will be more difficult for them because he is their father and they will want to believe they can still be connected to him. But how do you connect with someone that does not have any genuine feelings and does not know how to have a relationship?
That is for further down the road.
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