A Wrinkle in the Day

First off...A Wrinkle in Time...it was AWFUL! AMAZINGLY AWFUL!!! I do not believe there is anyone out there that can do that book justice.  Unless they are willing to make a mini series out of it. ..like 6-10 shows.  And don't change the characters!!! Ugh

Okay...on with 'things'.

Today was my test day.  I cannot honestly tell you how I think I did.  I  have no idea.  It was HOURS of mini situations and making the best choice.  It was a lot of mental reasoning.  6 hours.  Thankfully it was 3 hours at a time.

It was downpouring, thundering and lightening all the way of the 25 minute drive during morning rush hour traffic to get there.  I was nerved up.  The test center was cold.  I had not slept much in the 2 days leading up to the test.

Lucy had refused to go outside to relieve herself at all in the morning.  The storm scared her.  ( mental note to self: the next place I live needs to have a covered outside area for her to potty in bad weather).  

So I had 3 hours before the next test.  I drove home in a heavy down pour.  I had to stand outside with her so she would go.  She was thrilled to see me.

I headed back and it was not raining. I told the woman at the test center the weather ppl said we were in for hail and tornadoes.  She laughed.

A bit more than 2 hours into my 2nd test, we were told to shut off our monitors and head down to the bottom floor and gather under the stairwell because the tornado sirens were going off.

I was stuck in this spot...wedged in with 3 floors of employees whose phones were sending out alarms and certain ones of them were announcing the tornado's course and another had a frantic weatherman telling ppl to take cover and get off the freeway.  I was thinking, "I left my phone upstairs in the security locker.  And what if something happens to my car?"  While trying not to freak out!

After almost a half hour of this, we got the 'all clear'.  I sat down, very much awake...but warm because I had brought a sweater with me after freezing during the first test...read the rest of my questions and finished. 

I went out to my car and it was pouring. I sat there waiting to calm down before I had to hit the rush hour traffic home.  As I calmed down, so did the weather.  It quit raining and I took that as my cue.

It is all in God's hands.  I hope I did better than 'just passed'.  Cuz I have a secret.  Every since I was old enough to read my achievement test outcomes, I discovered that they said that I was performing above my cognitive capacity.  I am maxing myself out...and then pushing the 'sonic' button.  My brain has been working at top speed most of my life and then some.  I have been wringing every drop I can out of it.  And, today, I actually felt it. 

I have just always pushed it because I could not accept anything less.  I could not accept that my cognitive abilities were not all that astounding.  And for the past year and a half I have pushed it because I have felt that I don't have a choice.  I HAVE to succeed.

But taking those tests...I actually felt that I was reaching way beyond my grasp.
And if I don't pass them the first time...I do not know if I can try again.  Oh...you know I will...becuz...I HAVE to.  Otherwise, everything I have done in the last year and a half will be a worthless pile.  And I won't have a job.  Then what?

God.  It's definitely up to You!