July 29. I was hoping that by now it would be just another day on the calendar. It still triggers a bad feeling in the depths. It used to mark my wedding anniversary.
This year it just so happens that one of my favorite bands is playing at a nearby venue. 7 years ago, when I was still married, we all had tickets to see them. They were playing a concert after an Indians game. You bought the game tickets and you got the concert. But it poured. Everything cancelled. Had to cash the tickets back in.
So, 7 years later...we get to see them. Lifehouse...and Switchfoot.
The trip home was okay. Mom is anxious about Dad slowing down and forgetting things. Dawn just complains about everything. I had to have a talk with both of them...about facing reality. Now isn't that the blind leading the blind?
I came home and have been in a nearly immobile depression every since.
I need a purpose. Something that makes me move.
I think the thing that sent me to the depths was the email from our Team lead. She accepted a job with another e-school...one headquartered close to where she lives. She is going to be dean of students. While I am happy for her, it hit me. Change. Ppl leaving. Things changing. The world spins so fast within that kaleidoscope of constant change.
I am anxious about the new job coming up. Of course, I have not heard from them about where they will put me. I may not move...
I am sick of change. There was that short period of time where we stayed where we were. The kids were fairly stable. But then everything took a really big shift...followed by another...then more of the same. I would just love to get settled. Then...find a purpose to move...but not make big changes.
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