My Plate is Full...TYVM

Over the years the polymyalgia/fibromyalgia (not really sure which one it is...doesn't matter cuz it hurts) has slowly sapped my zest.  I used to thrive on doing lots of things.  I can't really blame it all on the disease either.  There are other circumstances such as age, menopause, and too many stressful situations.

This last week was a doozy.  On Monday my husband's car was hit in the back end by someone running a red light.  Thankfully it was a hit in the back driver side fender and the guy wasn't going real fast.  But it is a tangled web of insurance since the guy was driving a rental car on a business trip and his company insurance is supposed to cover it and his company's insurance company is being somewhat unresponsive.

Then the next day I got t-boned by a 'kid' traveling much faster than the 25 mph limit.  The van I had just gotten 3 months ago and had only made 2 payments on was totalled.  I was not hurt.  And the officer that showed up to manage the accident ended up hand cuffing the one that hit me because there was an outstanding warrant for his arrest.    I believe it was traffic related.

Troy and I had decided to take in his youngest nephew, Kevin.  He is 6 months younger than our son.  Kevin's mom (Troy's sister) left him and his dad when Kevin was about 14 years old.  She met another man and decided she wanted another life.  Kevin's dad did the bare minimun with Kevin.  He barely paid attention to him.  Kevin had no guidance and felt like the child that no one wanted.  His dad was just biding his time until Kevin graduated from school so he could kick him out.  Kevin's second oldest brother Tommy invited Kevin to go to Georgia and live with him and his significant other.  It was not a good situation and Tommy did not help Kevin in any way.  Kevin met a girl who's grandmother helped him get a job.  He moved in with this girl and her mom and grandmom until he could get his own apartment.  Once he paid his rent and utilities he had very little left for food.  He got down to a very very dangerously thin frame.  His oldest brother, David, who has bounced from job to job to job and friend's house to friend's house for YEARS and loves to be drunk and high, decided to go live with Kevin and 'help' him with rent and bills.  Kevin's mom and grandmom (Troy's mom) took David down there and picked up some furniture for them and filled the cupboards with food.  Kevin's mom took both boys to the welfare office and got them signed up for some food stamps.  It wasn't a lot they got but it helped.  Kevin got David a job at the factory he was working at.  Kevin got laid off and decided to try it back up 'home' in Ohio.  David moved on to Florida to mooch off another friend for a while.

Kevin has been desperate.  He is living out of a suitcase roaming from friend's house to friend's house.  His mom and her new husband won't take him in...and if they offered Kevin wouldn't go cuz he is not comfortable with the new 'dad'.  His own dad has started a whole new family with a wife he brought in from the Phillipines.  She is younger than Kevin's oldest brother.  She came with a little girl and she and Kevin's dad just had a little baby boy of their own.  Kevin is 'allowed' to live in the basement...no room...just a basement.  And it is cold down there.  His dad says it would cost him too much to put a dehumidifier and small heater down there.

Kevin became suicidal.  He had no one to show him a way out.  He wants to have a better life.  His friends back home just like to do drugs and drink.  They are lucky to have pizza delivery jobs.  Troy and I told him if he really wants a better life, he can come stay with us and we will help him find a school and career choice...fill out paperwork...get financial aide...just give him a leg up.  TJ talked to Kevin and helped him understand that he isn't being a mooch if we are offering and as long as he is going to school and really trying to get somewhere.  So, Kevin decided to take the offer.  The first part of January we will be moving him in.  He will have his own bedroom in our basement.  The difference is he will have a  ROOM.  Our kids have their rooms in the basement.  We run the dehumidifier and it has heat.  He will have a carpeted floor.  He will have his own space.  He comes with bedroom furniture, a TV and a car.  About all he needs. 

We are setting up a dorm fridge for all of them to use down there.  There is also a microwave and their own little pantry.  There is also a kitchen table and chairs.  I have alerted Kevin to the fact that I do not want to see that fridge full of beer all the time.  If he has a job along with school (he may be collecting unemployment) then he will only be allowed to drink on nights when he doesn't have to rise and shine for work or school the next day.  He may be almost 21 but this is our house.  Our son knows no matter what age he is he has to follow the rules of OUR house as long as he lives here.  This might be a little tough for Kevin considering his parents didn't make them follow rules.  They just didn't care.  Kevin just needs some one to teach him self discipline.  It has been tough with my son but he gets it.  They all think being an adult and being able to make your own decisions is all fun and games but then they find out otherwise.  I just want him to be able to make good decisions.

I am kinda not looking forward to another person living in the house all the time.  I don't know how this is going to work.  We tried this with Kevin's brother Tommy at one point but Tommy left after 2 months to go back to Georgia to the female he had wanted to get away from.  The only thing I can say about Tommy is that he is a worker and he has taken care of himself.  He just doesn't do well taking care of anyone else. 

I tried doing some volunteer work for a dog rescue group in our town.  I told them that I am going to have to take a break until probably February.  I have a job interview on Thursday again.  It is the second and final interview for a job.  Not counting on it only because nothing has come through for me thus far.  I know I really need it...been needing a job desperately for many months. 

Life is never what you think it's gonna be...