That has been my week. Then I realized that...this is his hobby. He will say something that will just hit me sideways...something insulting. I will play right into it...blow up like an over filled water balloon then he will say that I over react and take it all wrong. Leave me looking like the crazy loon. I told him we can fix that...quit talking to me. I am not his friend.
I have been ornery and short tempered all week anyway. I am not really sure why. I had a GREAT day last Friday...the 10th. I had all kinds of compliments coming at me and gratitude from parents and teachers. It was just a most wonderful day! But...I have been ill tempered every other day since.
It is so feckin difficult for me to believe that I deserve it. That I really did anything good enough.
I am working on telling myself over and over that I deserve it...and believing it.
Monday I start a new physician monitored diet/exercise program. I have a couple of friends that have done it. The first one has been quite over weight for all the time I have known her...about 13 years or so. She has tried a lot of things and nothing worked for her until she did this. She has been at it a year and is now a toothpick. The second one started about 6 weeks ago and has lost over 20 lbs. If this does not work for me, I quit.
Tonight my daughter went out with her friends to celebrate her last day at the local grocery store. She will be training for her Pharm Tech certification and working. Yes, she is still attending college for psychology but it will take her another 3 yrs and she wants something that will give her a decent wage in the meantime.
I volunteered to drop them off at the local pub and pick them up when they were done. Amy and Amber were not highly liquored but my daughter was skunked. I asked Amy if she had had more than 3 drinks. She said, Oh yes...more than 3.
A girl her size is buzzed pretty good on 2 drinks. 3 is drunk. I had to pull over so that she could barf out the door. It was deja vu of the nights out with my older sister and her friends when I was the DD, holding on to the tail of my older sister's coat while she leaned out the door.
Had to help my daughter into the house, made up the futon in her 'office' for her to collapse on...since it is close to the bathroom. I gave her water and excedrin and helped her change into a night shirt. Then I had to take her friend Amy home. Amber had been dropped off first then we did the pull over so Bethany could empty her stomach.
She has never had more than 2 drinks. This was a first. Knowing Bethany, it will more than likely be her last. I think TJ had 2 times where he got really nasty drunk.
At least they learn.
I found out, after talking to one of the teachers at the online school I work for that since I am working on my Intervention Specialist certification, I can negotiate a much better salary with the school since they are desperate for ISes. They may even hire me for that before I finish. That would be sweet. Keep my at home job and get paid more. I could then have extra money. Or at least get out of debt quicker. I would be able to afford a better house when it comes time to sell this one and buy another.
Life will work its way out. It is getting better. I do not know where I will land a year from now. I cannot even begin to know that or figure it out now. Just hang on for hte ride.
