Writers Wanted, Part 2

So perhaps I could write about tutoring my kids at home...while they are supposed to be getting educated at the school they are enrolled in.  I had to teach them organization: both class work and for writing essays, stories and reports.  I had (have) to help them learn their math.  I guess I'm not doing so good at that becuz my daughter was a GREAT math student until she hit middle school then something went wrong.  I had to help her with her lessons becuz she didn't understand what the teacher was trying to show them in class.  I would spend about 5 minutes explaining it, I would hear, "OOOHHHH!" and she would whiz through her homework and get an A.  My son did well in math...always, as long as I sat and explained it to him then he was off and running.  Now he is in college and he is majorly struggling with it.  He KNOWS if I sit and show him and work with him a bit he gets it.  Yet, he still resists doing that!  Now he is freaking out becuz he has one more class this summer (algebra II) then Trig in the fall.  I have to figure out how to instil some confidence in him with this math.  He works through it slowly, second and third guessing himself through it all.  I have told him ALL his life, "You are looking for something 10x's harder than it really is!  It is NOT that difficult.  There is a logic and pattern to everything."  If he can sit and use html code to build a web site without the help of web builder programs, then he should be able to do math! 

Parenting takes listening...REALLY listening.  Listen for what they are really trying to tell you between the words coming out of their mouth.  The even more difficult part is listening to what they are trying to tell you when they are saying nothing.  You have to KNOW your kid. 

There have been times when I quit listening to my son.  I said I didn't get him.  I may not always GET him but I know him.  I think what I took as not getting him is really being afraid of what I know.  He is scared, unsure, and any confidence he had in himself has slowly leached from him and down the drain.  It is really tough trying to prop him back up. 

Sometimes they need it.  Most times they need it. 

My daughter doesn't fool me.  She puts on a brave face and acts like she is 'good'...has it figured out OR she can figure it out herself.  But I know what is really there becuz she is me.  I was just like her..still am.  We all need someone to at least be by us as we journey forth, and sometimes clear a path for us once in a while, no matter how old we are.

I get weary myself becuz all my life ppl have stood back and let me do it all myself.  They have ALL thought that I have a plan...I'm determined...I am smart...I know what I want and how to get it...I don't ask for help becuz I don't need it.

Here's a clue:  It's the ones that DON'T ask for help that need someone else to give them a break and start clearing a path for them once in a while.  NO ONE always knows...

And that is why my daughter can count on me to be there to hold her hand or start clearing a path for her once in a while.  She won't ask...but I know she would like to.

My son is trying to be strong and independent.  He is doing the 'guy thing'.  Getting help from mom with his college math makes him feel like a kid...a mama's boy.  I think tomorrow I am going to put a label on my shirt that says, "Math Tutor".  Wonder if that will make him feel any differently?

I guess by the time I am done with my math tutoring of my kids I will have made up my mind if I want that masters in math ed. or not.

Writers Wanted, part 1

I was amused while looking through an online version of the old hometown newspaper...I glanced through their classifieds.  They have fallen into the same pit as a lot of online newspapers;  their employment classifieds are actually Monster boards.  ick.

What amused me was the ads for writers...blog writers.  One of the ads was for someone who was an expert on parenting to write a blog on it.

My thoughts exactly.

Everyday is an adventure in parent land.  My mother made it look so easy, for the most part.  Then again, she was always in a whirl. 

When my son was small, there was something (and don't ask me what it was, I think it had something to do with table manners) that flipped a switch about a fundamental piece of handy info all parents should be told about raising kids: They don't just automatically know stuff...they have to be TAUGHT EVERYTHING. This should be common sense for parenting but it reallys doesn't seem to be.  I think my generation just really never got it.  Want proof?  Just look around at the generation behind us...not ALL of them are messed up but enough of the percentage of the population to make it seem like they are all pretty much without morals and lacking a logical thinking process.

I have noticed too many parents of my generation that just figure their offspring will automatically KNOW stuff.  Where's the guidance?  And not everything has to have a good 'reason'...sometimes courtesy should be good enough.  But when the children grow up with parents that are so centrally focused on themselves they kinda get the idea that this world is pretty much 'every person for themselves'.  I still believe in the golden rule: do unto others as you want them to do unto you.  I have raised my kids that way.  They are finding out that not too many ppl think like that.

AND the death of the golden rule is one of the reasons this country is in the state it is in...but that is a whole nother rant entirely.

Just Keep It Simple

Got rid of all of that busy background.  I couldn't stand to look at my own blog!  There is something to be said for keeping things simple.

Just like anything I do...I find that if I want time to do anything for myself, I have to keep the rest of my life simple.  Summer is coming and even though I want my yard and gardens to look nice, I do not want to be like my parents and be a slave to my yard.  That is all they do all summer and fall...work on their yard/gardens.  My mother complains about how much work it is...and she doesn't seem to believe in garden fabric or using Preen or anything else that might help.

Last summer we did most of the hard work.  I figure this summer I can add a little tweaking to some of the gardens.  Next summer the same.  But there is NOT going to be the hard labor this summer that there was last year.  I want to enjoy some of the summer with my family...go kayaking, biking, etc.  The kids won't be around much longer...and even if they are, we are all getting older.

Life goes by so very quickly.  I liked the home I grew up in but all I remember is my parents constantly redoing parts, adding on, improving, working in the yard, etc.  Thank goodness for the motorhome or we would have NEVER done anything.  We could count on at least 2 weeks ever other year.

And now, you know what?  I am going to go sit in the family room and read a book.  Troy is gone..the kids are watching some goofy show in the livingroom.  I have taken care of dinner and laundry AND I did 3 miles on my excercise machine.  Perhaps a nice glass of Traminer Reisling would go good with that book.